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Lily Pond's avatar

This was an inspiring and entertaining read. I'm not a linguist but I do appreciate multilingualism and have understood, from an early age, the opportunities that languages could afford me. Learning foreign languages seemed to come to me rather easily, and I relished in the experience and the outcome.

As an immigrant from China to Hong Kong, I learned to speak Cantonese by watching dubbed American black-and-white TV series. At home, my mom spoke the Hangzhou dialect, my dad spoke Mandarin with an Indonesian accent, brother and I spoke the "proper" Mandarin at school while Cantonese outside of class and at home with out parents. Somehow, we made all these dialects and accents work without too much confusion. Oh, and then there was English, of course, the official language of the colonizers. Brother and I did not speak it in everyday life, but we had to learn it in school. Code-switching was normal for us. You would often here an English word here and there within a Chinese sentence. For my mom, who struggled with learning the local Cantonese, often combined (and still does) Mandarin, Hangzhouese and Cantonese in a single sentence. The result is quite hilarious.

In secondary school, I became exposed to the existence of French. Upper-class and non-Chinese girls in my school got the option to learn French instead of Chinese. I was quite jealous. When the dream of studying in France was ignited in me, I decided to learn French outside of school. Since then, I've learned a third language and it became my favorite. I felt free using French to express emotions that I wasn't able to express in either Chinese or English.

Fast forward many many years, I married a Swedish guy who spoke 5 languages. It was fascinating to me, and intellectually stimulating. We often spoke English, Swedish (after I've learned it) and French with each other, and we enjoyed many films in these languages. One of my proud accomplishments is to have watched and understood most of Igmar Bergman's movies in Swedish without subtitles.

Sadly, my ex-husband never learned my language even though we lived in Hong Kong for 10 years, claiming it was too difficult. We did use Swedish as our secret language when we were out in the public, to avoid people eardropping on us.

In terms of your puzzlement about married couples who communicate with three words, well, I have my own theory. I've seen it between Western men and Thai women. In fact, my ex-partner, who cheated on me with many Thai women, seemed to be rather satisfied with the kind of language exchange you described. My therapist at the time suggested that because my ex didn't like to be known for who he really was, he would rather engage with women who would never get to really know him (unlike me). Transactional relationships would work best for people like him. Well, that made a lot of sense to me, and perhaps can explain why marriages between the Germans or Swedes and the Thai's work, despite minimal communication. By the way, this ex-partner also never learned my language but was enthusiastic in learning Thai while living with me. Imagine how that made me feel.

I saw the cover of a book comparing the grammar of different Romance languages. I wonder if it's still available and if so, where can I get it. I'm always looking to expand my language skills and since I can speak French, I figure it wouldn't be too difficult to learn how to speak other Romance languages.

Well, when it comes to the subject of language, I can go on and on, but I need to sleep. So I will stop here. Thank you for opening my "lingua floodgate"!

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Emanuela B's avatar

Absolutely! Intercultural communication, combined with cultural awareness, is essential for effective collaboration. In my experience, especially in Southern Europe, this is often overlooked under the assumption that there are cultural similarities. But differences do exist—and language is a powerful mirror of those differences.

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