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Sarah Li-Cain's avatar

Glad you survived! And laughed a little too hard at the bit about the panties on your rear view mirror. I remember one year (on my husband's birthday to boot) our air conditioning unit went kaput during 40C weather in Florida. Let's say the repairman was our hero when we were able to get him around two days later.

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Rebecca K's avatar

Well this was a delight from start to finish--congrats on protecting your beloved companion from Melted Turtle Syndrome!

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thank you, Rebecca! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And yes, I'm glad that I kept my reptile on ice. She is back to her normal routine now: sleeping pretty much whenever she's not eating or in the hammock.

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Dustye Muse's avatar

I enjoyed reading this so much! It reminded me of the handwritten signs taped to Italian shop doors in summer "Aria Condizionata Libera" which always made me chuckle.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thank you, Dustye! You have to draw them in however you can, I guess!

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SassyinAug's avatar

Captain Underpants

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Oh I really don't need that nickname! Plus, I'm obviously no superhero. 🦸🏼‍♂️

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Carina Grasbeck's avatar

You can always count on IKEA! 😅😅

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Javisst! (Eller så kan man också Undvika. 😄)

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Carina Grasbeck's avatar

😂😂

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Eljay Elia's avatar

I thoroughly enjoyed this adventure with all the humor and surreal moments! Thanks for the laughs, as another reader commented, there's not a lot of 'happy' in the US these days.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thank you, Eljay! I know that a lot of awful things are happening now (they affect me too, emotionally if not quite so much materially). But I think that in order to survive, we need to shift our perspective from time to time to things that will make us feel better and want to keep moving forward.

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Kaila Krayewski's avatar

Sounds like quite the adventure! Is it uncommon for flats to have aircon in Lisbon?

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Hi Kaila. Yes, traditionally flats in Lisbon have neither air conditioning nor heating. Why? Because the climate is "perfect". (And people are poor.) The newer flats, built for rich foreigners, all have split systems that do heat and AC, but most people get by without this. At least until humans started screwing up the planet, there was only about one month of cold and one month of real heat, and people just learned to deal with both.

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Kaila Krayewski's avatar

Thanks for the cultural insight!

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Denise McCauley's avatar

Oh my oh my I laughed out loud ! Such a fun read. Stay cool, Gregory !

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

That makes me very happy, Denise! Thanks!

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•the point of singularity•'s avatar

I have laughed 😂 at your panty misadventures, both hanging from your car window or left under your lens on a Parisian rue. I can seriously vouch as a born and bred Venezuelan, that we are -across the different tiers of our classist society- loath to wear any second hand or as they call them "gently used" clothes... de que vuelan, vuelan. The witches and their bad juju.

The only exception to this rule is daughters pilfering stuff from their mom's closet

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thanks for that further confirmation, Janine! (For others who may be confused, she is referring to the piece linked to below.) I will endeavor to write a couple of pieces now with no panties whatsoever. Wouldn't want to end up in the wrong genre.

https://livingelsewhere.substack.com/p/the-dreams-of-stuff

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•the point of singularity•'s avatar

Or maybe the right one... who knows?!

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Sure, who knows where any of us will end up? Maybe I should do an underpants Tarot reading. 🤷🏼‍♂️

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•the point of singularity•'s avatar

Please do!!!

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Michael Jensen's avatar

You almost made me want to be in Lisbon.

Almost.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thanks, Michael! Be glad that you're not—at least not exactly right now.

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Samuel Claiborne's avatar

Gorgeously and entertainingly written as usual. Nice pix - especially the one with the karate poster. Someday I'll snag your email and send you my old 'tangential traveler' pieces. I think you'd like 'em. Closer to emigrating. Once there, I hope to upgrade to paid, and, even though I'll be near Braga, at least to start, meet you in the flesh some day. Kudos. Again!

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thanks, Samuel! It always makes me happy when someone mentions a particular photo as a favorite. (That was mine, too.) Your pieces sound interesting. Hopefully we will meet up once you're over here!

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Ricka Gerstmann's avatar

Thanks so much for the many laughs in this piece. There hasn't been much to smile about here in the US this week.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Ricka. I do my best to help people balance out their lives so as not to lose hope. Hang in there!

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Caroline Smrstik's avatar

When I woke this morning at 6 I was shocked to see that the temperature was a mere 21.5 degrees. I've been outdoors three times today, and we only got to 28 in Switzerland. I might not melt after all.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

I hope you won't melt, Caroline! Here's to numbers under 30!

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Paulo Correia's avatar

Do you like Arinto? My wife worked several years doing Arinto wine tastings in Bucelas, 30 minutos from Lisbon. If you like snails we can go to Snails Festival in Loures. Great combination snails and Arinto.

PS: The heat was not that bad, only 2 days above 40 without east winds.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

I do like Arinto, Paulo, but I don’t really like snails. I tried them, but it makes me sad that they have little faces. They seem just a bit too much like turtles for my comfort. I am always happy to try white wines with other things, though.

And yes, I didn’t say so in the piece, but it never did get as hot as they predicted. So we were spared the worst of it. And the Atlantic was there doing its thing for us.

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

It wasn’t quite that hot here in The Hague but it was brutal—our first summer without air conditioning in many years. I made pasta before the heat set in, and we had a variety of cold bean or bulgar salads until the rain finally broke the heat. Survivors!

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Well done, Gillian! We will eat beans and we will survive! (And we may just take off our underwear and leave it somewhere.)

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Yes, in that heat, I can understand leaving your drawers somewhere. If you're melting, you won't feel them sliding down.

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N. Duffey's avatar

It's almost 8 in the morning here, soon too late to go walking. Though it is only 80ºF (hmm 80/1.8-32 . . never mind), it will be 90º (ha! approximately 32ºC!) within forty minutes, and the humidity: ouff. That's okay, it will end eventually. Around October, usually. We, fortunately, do have a/c. We must, living here.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

If I lived in New Orleans, I would want AC too, ND! I hope you'll manage to get out before the heat becomes oppressive. I remember what that's like from my time in Virginia, North Carolina, and Georgia. I wouldn't wish high heat and humidity on anyone... Or, well, not on most folks.

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