This is a great list and touches on an underlying theme which is- when you move abroad are you ready to change who you are in addition to where you are. I’ve seen too many Americans move abroad thinking it’s minor changes to how you live. It’s a whole new approach to life within a new culture. I see many Americans moving to Portugal trying to bring American culture with them. It doesn’t belong here- fully embrace where you’re living now. You’re the foreigner.
Really good points! Interesting to read this as an Australian who's now living in the UK - not all of them ring true for my paricular situation (my biggest language pain point is saying 'pants' instead of 'trousers') but so many of them really do. But the 'living far away' is especially strong for me - minimum x2 flights, usually around 24 hrs to get back. I fear what happens in some kind of emergency, and as an only child I feel like living here permanently just... isn't an option.
The security/discovery thing is interesting too, as I see myself leaning more towards "security" than "discovery" (maybe why the UK was a good choice for me). That said, I feel as though those two attributes are seperate but affect each other deeply. I definitely have strong security needs but it has often gotten in the way my curiosity need. The secure part of me has some very pained moments, but my curiosity benefitted... and now I'm all the better for it.
Jessica, I hear where you are coming from. Australians have it very hard in terms of physical separation. While the UK may seem comfortingly close culturally, it sure isn't close geographically! As for the security/discovery distinction, I think that we're all somewhere between the ends of the spectrum and have both kinds of needs. The main question is which set of needs drives your decisions the most. I also think that living abroad can move you on the spectrum, though that can feel painful at times. I wish you the best of luck!
Loved this, so much. As a Londoner living in Central America, I felt myself nodding along to so much of this. I hope many people stumble upon this before moving abroad. I also recommend 'Tambarina', an incredible and homely Cape Verdean restaurant and my fave whenever I land in Lisboa.
Wow. Really great points. My husband and I have Luxembourgish nationality, him via ancestry, me because I learned Luxembourgish. He is eager to move there, and while we have some friends there already, I do worry about developing the same kind of social network we enjoy in Denver. Not to mention the weather (it's dismal in Luxembourg, frankly). Love the country, but just I don't know. Good food for thought. Thank you!
We could live in anywhere in Europe, really (I also speak French, and my husband speaks Spanish), but it feels like Luxembourg is where we *should* be.
We have the economic means to leave. But leaving means I would be leaving my four kids (now adults) and a new granddaughter. My husband keeps telling me that they are all living their own lives now and we can always help them pay for visits to France/Italy/Spain (wherever we end up). Still a hard decision.
Absolutely, it's a hard decision. Either way, you are making a compromise, right? So you just need to decide what's best for you. My only advice is not to make assumptions about what's best for other people without consulting them.
Good and interesting post. Though I don’t have the same experience as I have moved from one European country to another, but it’s still enough of differences and at some point cultural shocks.
Coming from Finland to Luxembourg was interesting, and after years I’m surprised how those things which I took for granted become precious ones.
Hi Dominika! You're right, and I never meant to imply that moving between countries in Europe was easy. I can imagine that Finland to Luxembourg is also a big transition! I'm sure there are things you miss (e.g. nature). But I hope that you have also found things in your new home that you are happy to have.
This is a great list and touches on an underlying theme which is- when you move abroad are you ready to change who you are in addition to where you are. I’ve seen too many Americans move abroad thinking it’s minor changes to how you live. It’s a whole new approach to life within a new culture. I see many Americans moving to Portugal trying to bring American culture with them. It doesn’t belong here- fully embrace where you’re living now. You’re the foreigner.
Good insight 😌 Can i translate part of this article into Spanish with links to you and a description of your newsletter?
Can I just hop around and visit everyone? I’ve lived in Switzerland but it’s prohibitively expense for retirement.
Sadly, no. I can’t leave bc I want to stay near where my kids are allowed to live and where I get to pay $70/hour to see them.
Truly a thoughtful essay on moving abroad. And ever so timely given current events.
Thank you, Teyani!
Really good points! Interesting to read this as an Australian who's now living in the UK - not all of them ring true for my paricular situation (my biggest language pain point is saying 'pants' instead of 'trousers') but so many of them really do. But the 'living far away' is especially strong for me - minimum x2 flights, usually around 24 hrs to get back. I fear what happens in some kind of emergency, and as an only child I feel like living here permanently just... isn't an option.
The security/discovery thing is interesting too, as I see myself leaning more towards "security" than "discovery" (maybe why the UK was a good choice for me). That said, I feel as though those two attributes are seperate but affect each other deeply. I definitely have strong security needs but it has often gotten in the way my curiosity need. The secure part of me has some very pained moments, but my curiosity benefitted... and now I'm all the better for it.
Jessica, I hear where you are coming from. Australians have it very hard in terms of physical separation. While the UK may seem comfortingly close culturally, it sure isn't close geographically! As for the security/discovery distinction, I think that we're all somewhere between the ends of the spectrum and have both kinds of needs. The main question is which set of needs drives your decisions the most. I also think that living abroad can move you on the spectrum, though that can feel painful at times. I wish you the best of luck!
Loved this, so much. As a Londoner living in Central America, I felt myself nodding along to so much of this. I hope many people stumble upon this before moving abroad. I also recommend 'Tambarina', an incredible and homely Cape Verdean restaurant and my fave whenever I land in Lisboa.
Thank you very much, Amara! And I am so chuffed to discover a new Cape Verdean restaurant—I will definitely check out Tambarina! 🙏
I prefer to stay in the US. There’s work to do, isn’t there ?
No!
"In a similar vein, living in a foreign country involves near-constant uncertainty, confusion, and disappointment."
Um, how is that different from where I'm currently at? LOL. OL. L. Sigh.
😂😢💔
Wow. Really great points. My husband and I have Luxembourgish nationality, him via ancestry, me because I learned Luxembourgish. He is eager to move there, and while we have some friends there already, I do worry about developing the same kind of social network we enjoy in Denver. Not to mention the weather (it's dismal in Luxembourg, frankly). Love the country, but just I don't know. Good food for thought. Thank you!
Thanks, Kitt! I would have trouble giving any advice about choosing between Denver and Luxembourg. At least you have it narrowed down!
We could live in anywhere in Europe, really (I also speak French, and my husband speaks Spanish), but it feels like Luxembourg is where we *should* be.
Well, “should” can be a dangerous word. My question would be, is it where you want to be?
We have the economic means to leave. But leaving means I would be leaving my four kids (now adults) and a new granddaughter. My husband keeps telling me that they are all living their own lives now and we can always help them pay for visits to France/Italy/Spain (wherever we end up). Still a hard decision.
Absolutely, it's a hard decision. Either way, you are making a compromise, right? So you just need to decide what's best for you. My only advice is not to make assumptions about what's best for other people without consulting them.
If it were not for our four grandchildren, we would be out of this country.
Yes
Working toward retiring in Belize. Bring on the challenges! Makes life spicy :)
That’s the attitude!
Good and interesting post. Though I don’t have the same experience as I have moved from one European country to another, but it’s still enough of differences and at some point cultural shocks.
Coming from Finland to Luxembourg was interesting, and after years I’m surprised how those things which I took for granted become precious ones.
Hi Dominika! You're right, and I never meant to imply that moving between countries in Europe was easy. I can imagine that Finland to Luxembourg is also a big transition! I'm sure there are things you miss (e.g. nature). But I hope that you have also found things in your new home that you are happy to have.