Funny important sociolinguistics comments. When I was 18, back in 1989, I worked in an office in São Paulo, Brazil, side by side with a hilarious Brazilian Jewish guy. Every time something went wrong he used to swear in Hebrew something that meant ‘your mother’s ass’, as he explained the meaning to me then. I know how to pronounce it as I learned through repetitive listening to it and I still love using this swearing even though I know nothing in Hebrew except ‘Shalom’ 😊
I’m ALSO consistently shocked by the lack of sensitivity toward children here in Italy who swear in English like there's no tomorrow. Specifically kids under 12, not just teenagers, who think they’re speaking fluent English by casually inserting "fuck" into every other sentence. They pick it up from movies and songs without understanding the weight of the word.
Additionally, my four-year-old daughter loves saying "cavolo," which is the G-rated version of swearing. It carries various meanings in Italian, including "holy shit" or "what the hell?" We don’t use this term at home, so she clearly picked it up at preschool... which ironically, is run by the Catholic Church in our town. :)
I know what you mean, Cassandra. As someone who was not allowed to swear in English as a child, when I hear small children doing it, I am filled with a strange blend of indignation (from the adult in me) and envy (from the child in me). It would be interesting to know whether the parents don't care about swearing in general, don't care about swearing in English, or simply don't understand the English swearwords, or their force.
Thank you, Mike! The text wasn't actually intended to be amusing (I didn't tag it as Humor, for example), but I'm glad you enjoyed it. And that you thought the photos worked well. I had been wondering what I would do with a picture of two chicken breasts on the floor. It's nice to know now.
This is always a fascinating topic! All of my students are multilingual high schoolers, so of course the exchange of swears is first up on their list. Regulating when and where to use English swear words is a perpetual (and amusing for me) process.
I find myself using "soft" swears in Italian from time to time. Things like "Che cavalo!"(cauliflower) instead of "Che cazzo!" (penis) Really a way to say "What the fuck?" I've also yelled out "Blast!" like some British person. ?! Like maybe I've done that twice, surprising myself. Who knows where these eruptions come from really. Mysterious brain.
Thanks, Dustye! (Is your name really Dustye? I've been wondering.) Swearing is a topic of great interest to many people, especially the young 'uns. And explaining how to do it well is not easy!
Soft swears (euphemisms) are a very good resource. I say "fogo" ("fire") in Portuguese a lot, because it's infinitely more gentle than "foda-se" ("fuck"). I like "che cavalo"—but isn't a cavalo a horse?
And yes, it's funny when we pick up swearwords and other expressions not from other languages, but from other varieties of English. I have lived over here for so long and have associated with so many British people and other non-American speakers of English that I have picked up all sorts of expressions. The other day, I was talking to two Americans and said I was going to go to the loo. They probably thought I was a bit of a tosser!
Yes. That really is my name. Some girls get named for flowers. Alas! I did not.
Yes cavallo is a horse, cavolo is a cabbage or shortened cavolfiore/cauliflower. Bad spelling on my part. (Outloud the stress fall differently because of the double l. I had to look it up to find the spelling error.) I used to live in Italy, but my Italian is pretty gimpy now.
I too, had British friends and I still say "at the weekend" instead of "on the weekend." Speaking of loos, my English friends were amused by the American folk song "Skip to the loo." I always hear it their way now!
You are spot on! I remember the German exchange student in my high school teaching me Scheiße. I felt like he let me in on a secret, and I used it all the time instead of saying it in English.
And this post also reminded me of my time in France as a study abroad student. A taxi driver was extremely rude to a classmate and me. Without thinking or batting an eye, I said a phrase in French that meant fuck you. Then I thought, "Oh my, what did I just do?" :)
I know just what you mean, Elizabeth! It's so easy to use those tasty foreign expressions without really thinking about it—which can get us into trouble at times. I hope you didn't get thrown out of the taxi!
Actually, I think they use it even in non-angry contexts. They are especially keen on expressions that contain “fuck”, as in “What the fuck?”, “No fucking way”, “Fuck that”, etc. I think they don’t realize how many people could be offended—which is actually funny, since Swedes generally go out of their way to avoid offending people.
My standing theory or coping mechanism is that anything too specific, too crunchy, too oddball just shaves off a few of the window shoppers. Which is fine! A market at work. You can't be the guru of your big-tent living abroad pieces every week, and nor do us Gregory fans want you to be. Please go deep or go salty or go local or go weird. I want to read it! Let the passersby wander on.
But...that's me being smart about it. Most of me would spend all day imagining some old victorian in a starched collar mashing the unsubscribe button, like 'I've just about ENOUGH of this rubbish!!'
Thank you, my friend! I think that's an excellent perspective. There are always people who click "subscribe" without really knowing what they're buying. But we're not selling athletic socks here—Substack is really personal. And if 2000 people agree to check out my writing, some of them are certain to decide that it's not really for them. I am just soooo grateful that there isn't a rating system in Substack. The day they introduce that will be the day I leave.
And you are so right: I really do need to get out of the big tent from time to time and spend some time at the freak show instead.
I have a potty mouth, but I’m careful here in Portugal not say stuff offhandedly in português. I’m keenly aware that I might use it out of context and offend. If I know the person, and they know me, then, well, I’m not so hesitant if something happens to escape my mouth.
I’ve been fascinated with exactly this for decades, ever since I lived in Argentina and “taught” English conversation classes - which in reality was me mooching a lunch with locals while chatting about recent movies / music. Almost without exception I was asked to teach people the worst swear words I could think of. The students then repeated them over and over again, as if reading a shopping list... butter, milk, shit, fuck... And in fact, reciprocally, I asked to be taught the worst thing that someone might say at a local football match. Some vivid stuff indeed! Also like them, I had no emotional connection to the words. To reinforce them, when I found myself waiting for a bus or walking down the street, I would mutter the swears over and over. It was just the mechanics of repeating the words but not feeling them. I must have seemed like a total lunatic.
The turning point was realizing this disconnection and trying to find a way to create a bond between swears and feelings, in fact, any word with emotional strength and a sincere feeling. For me at least, I found that reading / translating Spanish poetry worked best. It was like solving a puzzle, connecting the word and the feeling. The poems were simple but their weight, even now, feels enormous.
Mathew, I love this! The last thing I expected to get in a comment on this post was a poem in Spanish! You made me laugh with your description of standing at the bus stop "practicing" swearwords. And poetry is a good way of developing a connection to the emotional weight of words. Thanks!
Fascinating topic. The one that always startles me is when young Europeans are singing pretty explicit rap songs in front of grandmas, little kids, everyone. I have to remind myself that those words don't mean to them what they mean in the U.S. Well, at least what they used to mean. I find myself occasionally dropping the f-bomb in public now, whereas I never would've done that twenty years ago.
Thanks, Michael! Are you trying to say that you think there has been a decline in the tenor of public discourse in America of late? Why, whatever makes you say that?
Oh, %#^@ off, Gregory. I never effing said that! JFC, what the #!#* is it with people jumping to such effing ridiculous concl — Okay, maybe you have a point. LOL LOL
Swearing in Yiddish confuses people in almost all of the USA -- except Old Order Amish, who look at you reallllllly weird, and in NYC, where you wouldn't be weird for swearing in any language this side of, say, Betelgeuseian.
That’s funny, Hanne! I sound like a Schlemiel when I try to swear in Yiddish, so I don’t try. Though I would do so just to get one of those looks from the Amish. If you know any good swearwords in Betelgeuseian, please do share them with me!
Actually, that reminds me of Douglas Adams, who wrote in one of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books that in a certain part of the galaxy, the most offensive word you can use is “Belgium”. 😆
If we ever end up having drinks, Gregory, remind me to tell you about my experiences with the late Mr. Adams and why, in my household the phrase “I appear to be having difficulties with my lifestyle” gets invoked so frequently.
I grew up with French as my maternal tongue and used some French swear words but cannot swear one tiny little bit in English (I now live in the U.S. and am perfectly fluent in both languages ). These days, when I do swear, it’s usually in French. I think that French allows me to use my emotions differently which is why I can swear in that language! But maybe that’s a whole other layer of linguistics.
Interesting, Rachel! Swearing definitely does connect closely to our emotions. This is very much in line with the research that Shanley mentioned in another comment.
Funny important sociolinguistics comments. When I was 18, back in 1989, I worked in an office in São Paulo, Brazil, side by side with a hilarious Brazilian Jewish guy. Every time something went wrong he used to swear in Hebrew something that meant ‘your mother’s ass’, as he explained the meaning to me then. I know how to pronounce it as I learned through repetitive listening to it and I still love using this swearing even though I know nothing in Hebrew except ‘Shalom’ 😊
Mijito en América Latina 'Carajo' no es cock or dick o ningún appendage. Es simplemente utilizado como Å Satan! Eso será en España.
Cariño, dije que el significado original es ese, aunque no se use así en la vida cotidiana.
Véase https://dle.rae.es/carajo
Corazón de pollo, en la vida cotidiana de este lado del charco, se usa etimológicamente con toda esa variedad de significados.
I’m ALSO consistently shocked by the lack of sensitivity toward children here in Italy who swear in English like there's no tomorrow. Specifically kids under 12, not just teenagers, who think they’re speaking fluent English by casually inserting "fuck" into every other sentence. They pick it up from movies and songs without understanding the weight of the word.
Additionally, my four-year-old daughter loves saying "cavolo," which is the G-rated version of swearing. It carries various meanings in Italian, including "holy shit" or "what the hell?" We don’t use this term at home, so she clearly picked it up at preschool... which ironically, is run by the Catholic Church in our town. :)
I know what you mean, Cassandra. As someone who was not allowed to swear in English as a child, when I hear small children doing it, I am filled with a strange blend of indignation (from the adult in me) and envy (from the child in me). It would be interesting to know whether the parents don't care about swearing in general, don't care about swearing in English, or simply don't understand the English swearwords, or their force.
Very amusing! It's also another post in which the photos—each of them eloquent in their silent profanity—supplement the text quite well.
Thank you, Mike! The text wasn't actually intended to be amusing (I didn't tag it as Humor, for example), but I'm glad you enjoyed it. And that you thought the photos worked well. I had been wondering what I would do with a picture of two chicken breasts on the floor. It's nice to know now.
I'm here for the linguistics, man! You crush this stuff. It's a joy to read.
Thank you, Dan! That's very nice to hear. I appreciate it.
This is always a fascinating topic! All of my students are multilingual high schoolers, so of course the exchange of swears is first up on their list. Regulating when and where to use English swear words is a perpetual (and amusing for me) process.
I find myself using "soft" swears in Italian from time to time. Things like "Che cavalo!"(cauliflower) instead of "Che cazzo!" (penis) Really a way to say "What the fuck?" I've also yelled out "Blast!" like some British person. ?! Like maybe I've done that twice, surprising myself. Who knows where these eruptions come from really. Mysterious brain.
Thanks, Dustye! (Is your name really Dustye? I've been wondering.) Swearing is a topic of great interest to many people, especially the young 'uns. And explaining how to do it well is not easy!
Soft swears (euphemisms) are a very good resource. I say "fogo" ("fire") in Portuguese a lot, because it's infinitely more gentle than "foda-se" ("fuck"). I like "che cavalo"—but isn't a cavalo a horse?
And yes, it's funny when we pick up swearwords and other expressions not from other languages, but from other varieties of English. I have lived over here for so long and have associated with so many British people and other non-American speakers of English that I have picked up all sorts of expressions. The other day, I was talking to two Americans and said I was going to go to the loo. They probably thought I was a bit of a tosser!
Yes. That really is my name. Some girls get named for flowers. Alas! I did not.
Yes cavallo is a horse, cavolo is a cabbage or shortened cavolfiore/cauliflower. Bad spelling on my part. (Outloud the stress fall differently because of the double l. I had to look it up to find the spelling error.) I used to live in Italy, but my Italian is pretty gimpy now.
I too, had British friends and I still say "at the weekend" instead of "on the weekend." Speaking of loos, my English friends were amused by the American folk song "Skip to the loo." I always hear it their way now!
Ah, skip to the loo! Priceless! And for what it’s worth, my Italian always was and is still gimpy.
You are spot on! I remember the German exchange student in my high school teaching me Scheiße. I felt like he let me in on a secret, and I used it all the time instead of saying it in English.
And this post also reminded me of my time in France as a study abroad student. A taxi driver was extremely rude to a classmate and me. Without thinking or batting an eye, I said a phrase in French that meant fuck you. Then I thought, "Oh my, what did I just do?" :)
I know just what you mean, Elizabeth! It's so easy to use those tasty foreign expressions without really thinking about it—which can get us into trouble at times. I hope you didn't get thrown out of the taxi!
My companion and I were outside of the taxi. I shocked my 21-year-old self, who rarely used profanity at the time.
The Swedes will oust me but I have a strong feeling that they are exeptionally keen on using 'fucking' in ordinary angry sentences.
Actually, I think they use it even in non-angry contexts. They are especially keen on expressions that contain “fuck”, as in “What the fuck?”, “No fucking way”, “Fuck that”, etc. I think they don’t realize how many people could be offended—which is actually funny, since Swedes generally go out of their way to avoid offending people.
I did it! I managed to lose way more subscribers than I gained today! Wee-hoo!
Of course I predicted that. Every time I write an essay like this, I lose subscribers. What do you think, y'all? Did they unsubscribe because of...
(a) the general offensiveness of talking about swearwords
(b) the criticism of American culture (the general policing of swearing)
(c) the specific line about the rifle
... or all of the above? Or something else? Any thoughts?
My standing theory or coping mechanism is that anything too specific, too crunchy, too oddball just shaves off a few of the window shoppers. Which is fine! A market at work. You can't be the guru of your big-tent living abroad pieces every week, and nor do us Gregory fans want you to be. Please go deep or go salty or go local or go weird. I want to read it! Let the passersby wander on.
But...that's me being smart about it. Most of me would spend all day imagining some old victorian in a starched collar mashing the unsubscribe button, like 'I've just about ENOUGH of this rubbish!!'
Thank you, my friend! I think that's an excellent perspective. There are always people who click "subscribe" without really knowing what they're buying. But we're not selling athletic socks here—Substack is really personal. And if 2000 people agree to check out my writing, some of them are certain to decide that it's not really for them. I am just soooo grateful that there isn't a rating system in Substack. The day they introduce that will be the day I leave.
And you are so right: I really do need to get out of the big tent from time to time and spend some time at the freak show instead.
A ratings system?? A la verga, guey...that would be end, for sure. Onward into the freak show!
A fun read!
Thanks, Susan!
I have a potty mouth, but I’m careful here in Portugal not say stuff offhandedly in português. I’m keenly aware that I might use it out of context and offend. If I know the person, and they know me, then, well, I’m not so hesitant if something happens to escape my mouth.
Maria, what’s not to love about a pastor with a potty mouth? But I do agree that it’s better to err on the side of caution, in Portugal and elsewhere.
Being a pastor with a potty mouth was one of my most “redeeming” qualities. I also have good timing and know when to drop stuff for maximum fun.
Woukd love to meet
OK, I’ll message you directly when I have an inkling of when I’ll be up Porto way next. Sound good?
I think we simply have to meet, Maria.
I’ve been fascinated with exactly this for decades, ever since I lived in Argentina and “taught” English conversation classes - which in reality was me mooching a lunch with locals while chatting about recent movies / music. Almost without exception I was asked to teach people the worst swear words I could think of. The students then repeated them over and over again, as if reading a shopping list... butter, milk, shit, fuck... And in fact, reciprocally, I asked to be taught the worst thing that someone might say at a local football match. Some vivid stuff indeed! Also like them, I had no emotional connection to the words. To reinforce them, when I found myself waiting for a bus or walking down the street, I would mutter the swears over and over. It was just the mechanics of repeating the words but not feeling them. I must have seemed like a total lunatic.
The turning point was realizing this disconnection and trying to find a way to create a bond between swears and feelings, in fact, any word with emotional strength and a sincere feeling. For me at least, I found that reading / translating Spanish poetry worked best. It was like solving a puzzle, connecting the word and the feeling. The poems were simple but their weight, even now, feels enormous.
Rostro de Vos - Mario Benedetti
Tengo una soledad
tan concurrida
tan llena de nostalgias
y de rostros de vos
de adioses hace tiempo
y besos bienvenidos
de primeras de cambio
y de último vagón.
Tengo una soledad
tan concurrida
que puedo organizarla
como una procesión
por colores
tamaños
y promesas
por época
por tacto y por sabor
Mathew, I love this! The last thing I expected to get in a comment on this post was a poem in Spanish! You made me laugh with your description of standing at the bus stop "practicing" swearwords. And poetry is a good way of developing a connection to the emotional weight of words. Thanks!
Fascinating topic. The one that always startles me is when young Europeans are singing pretty explicit rap songs in front of grandmas, little kids, everyone. I have to remind myself that those words don't mean to them what they mean in the U.S. Well, at least what they used to mean. I find myself occasionally dropping the f-bomb in public now, whereas I never would've done that twenty years ago.
Thanks, Michael! Are you trying to say that you think there has been a decline in the tenor of public discourse in America of late? Why, whatever makes you say that?
Oh, %#^@ off, Gregory. I never effing said that! JFC, what the #!#* is it with people jumping to such effing ridiculous concl — Okay, maybe you have a point. LOL LOL
Swearing in Yiddish confuses people in almost all of the USA -- except Old Order Amish, who look at you reallllllly weird, and in NYC, where you wouldn't be weird for swearing in any language this side of, say, Betelgeuseian.
That’s funny, Hanne! I sound like a Schlemiel when I try to swear in Yiddish, so I don’t try. Though I would do so just to get one of those looks from the Amish. If you know any good swearwords in Betelgeuseian, please do share them with me!
Actually, that reminds me of Douglas Adams, who wrote in one of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books that in a certain part of the galaxy, the most offensive word you can use is “Belgium”. 😆
If we ever end up having drinks, Gregory, remind me to tell you about my experiences with the late Mr. Adams and why, in my household the phrase “I appear to be having difficulties with my lifestyle” gets invoked so frequently.
Hanne, I cannot wait, both to have drinks with you, and to hear that story! That is a sentence with incredible potential.
This is interesting!
I grew up with French as my maternal tongue and used some French swear words but cannot swear one tiny little bit in English (I now live in the U.S. and am perfectly fluent in both languages ). These days, when I do swear, it’s usually in French. I think that French allows me to use my emotions differently which is why I can swear in that language! But maybe that’s a whole other layer of linguistics.
Interesting, Rachel! Swearing definitely does connect closely to our emotions. This is very much in line with the research that Shanley mentioned in another comment.
What a fun article, Gregory. I love the way you use your linguistic training to analyze various cultural topics--including this one!
Thank you, Clarice! That makes me very happy.