I wish I could unsee, all that I see now. I'm a bit naïve by nature (nurture?). I have long believed the best in people. But now? Here, now, at home in the USA? 9/11 was a turning point - yes. For a flash, a brief moment, we were one. Together. Even the world was one with US(a). And then the leadership squandered it, tossed it all away. Innocent once, I wish I could see the world as a child again. Innocence lost. How might we ever find our way home? I need it. The world needs it. For America to find its way home.
Hi David! I'm looking forward to meeting you. You bring up a good point: How many Americas are there? The answer to that question is incredibly complex, though.
Even if you look at it from a political perspective, the USA has only one president (though some argue that that may not be true at the moment), but thanks to the federal system, there is a separate government with all three branches in each state. We could say the same thing about cultures. And of course, NYC, being bigger than many states, sometimes seems to have its own reality.
But let's not forget that these multiple realities overlap and intertwine. Once a pop song hits the charts, you will have trouble avoiding it no matter where you go. And ICE can snatch you off the street and whisk you away to an undisclosed location whether you're in Albuquerque, Atlanta, New York, or Boston.
So I would humbly submit that you live in a bubble that is still part of the reality of modern America. Does that seem fair? The problem is, we know what bubbles tend to do...
I agree with this description of American life and culture. But I have slowly realized over my lifetime that America has always been this way. I recently read Fanny Trollope’s Domestic Manners of the Americans published 1832. The roots of the troubling culture we have today was strikingly evident even then.
Fascinating observation, Emily! I agree that certain aspects of contemporary American culture have been around for a very long time (perhaps since the beginning). But I don't believe that it _had_ to play out this way.
(sorry for the deletion: my first attempt to post this comment barfed back at me)
Oh, I bet this was painful to write, Gregory. When I am putting together the evidence of what my birth country has become, it is always emotionally difficult to express.
I’ve been gone somewhat longer than you, but I think the pace of decline really accelerated in the last two decades. When I would come back to the US in the 90s or early 00’s, I felt mildly bemused, like the great-aunt who doesn’t get out much anymore. My mum used to laugh at me getting lost in the supermarket: When I was living in barely-post-communist eastern Europe, the average Price Chopper in semi-rural upstate New York was an awe-inspiring experience. So many varieties of canned tomatoes!
Now there is a Walmart or Costco or similar giant warehouse in every town, people buy groceries at Target, and everywhere are these signs shouting at me (like your trauma-inducing photo). One really gets the impression that Americans exist to shop, to spend, to consume. Put bluntly, no wonder the economy (and by economy, I do not mean the stock market. I mean the economy.) has been on the road to hell. No one in the US makes anything anymore and everyone wants everything bigger and cheaper. A country can neither maintain healthy trade balances nor jobs that pay a living wage if the only measurement anyone cares about is Having More Stuff.
At some point I realized people were getting larger–– not just obese, but larger. In Switzerland where I live, the (surly) shop assistants give me the head-to-toe glance and say “I doubt we have that in your size” because I am not the short and wiry miniature woman-shape common here. (I am a Slav and I have hips.) In the US, however, I am downright petite. In college I was a tall girl and now it seems that the majority are taller and broader than I am. I find this quite disorienting.
The shallow friendliness got on my nerves when I still lived in the US (but I’ve always been a curmudgeon), but I did understand why all the Europeans always praised the abundance of light conversation. However, my visits over the past couple years have left me feeling distinctly unsettled because I feel that the “pleasantness to public life” that you describe is vanishing. (see https://carolinesmrstik.substack.com/p/back-in-the-us)
I’ve often felt very conflicted about my decision to renounce my US citizenship. With my birth country having reached the point it has now, I am now content to be able to document the distance I feel.
What I’ve always thought is that the United States is an uncivilized country: we still live as though we are on the frontier, individualistic, rugged, fending for ourselves. 250 years hasn’t done much to take that mindset away.
Rachel, I see your point, and I do think that the “frontier mindset” did inform the American worldview in a permanent way. Take, for example, the deep mistrust of government—which is ultimately what is behind the lack of affordable healthcare in the US. At the same time, this is also why Americans make such good entrepreneurs; there is that sense that with hard work, anything is possible.
Great piece, man. Great comment section, too. You've made a great platform and this is an excellent way to use it--as a lot of the commenters note, you can deliver hard medicine with grace. I agree with all of it. I'll not that the ugly landscape can be home to riotous diversity--the stripmalls of the Sun Belt have the best restaurants from over the world. That the current turn back home runs directly against this--that's the heartbreak. They're missing the point. Anyhow! A comfort to read this, in a strange way. Thanks!
Thank you, friend Dan! I'm glad you liked the piece, but again, I'm sorry that you agree with it. You make a very good point about diversity: that is the real strength of the US. American culture is made so much richer by the inclusion of people from all over the world, and it IS heartbreaking that the current regime is trying to hunt down and destroy diversity. I hope and pray that that will never succeed.
On the topic of "The thing that most Europeans understand is that performative patriotism is closely allied with fascism. One of the building blocks of a fascist state is an intense promotion of the fatherland above all other nations—a fetishization of the homeland and its deep specialness, frequently with racial overtones. This has been present in the United States for many decades, and has always made Europeans uncomfortable."
You may find N.S. Lyons' essay on "Love of a Nation" to be an interesting read. I quite wonder what the average European would make of his points here. https://substack.com/home/post/p-158979738
Thank you for pointing my to this essay. I think it is a excellent piece, though I lack the historical knowledge to be able to agree or disagree with its characterization of how postwar society was managed. I agree with many of the points made (though not all). I especially like these quotes:
"In both cases America is viewed as analogous to a corporation. In such a corporation, management’s only responsibility is to profits; it has no inherent responsibility to employees or their wellbeing, something of interest only insofar as it translates into productivity."
"It is preferable that the masses simply not care very much – about anything, but especially about the fate of their nation and the common good."
To the extent that what Lyons says about modern Western nations is true, it does seem that a capitalist mindset has been slowly replacing a view based on good governance—and thus it is probably no surprise that we now see the USA controlled by a cadre of elitist businessmen.
It irks me a bit that Lyons uses "love" as the central term of the essay without ever defining it. Why does nobody ever try to define love, especially when it clearly means different things to different people?
But to return to your query about patriotism, I think that there is a big difference between real love of country and the "performative" patriotism that I was talking about. The British elites going off to fight in the trenches in WWI is very different from people attaching four flags to their pickup truck and telling a guy with only two flags on his truck to "go back to Afghanistan" (A supposedly true story told by Bill Maher after 9/11). This latter kind of patriotism can, I think, easily become a shroud to disguise the demonization of others and the exercise of violence.
I agree and disagree on so many points that this is all I can say: It’s an extremely well-written piece, and your observations are spot on. However, there may be deeper context that, when explored, reveals things aren’t always as they seem. I admire your writing and congratulate you on sharing your perspective. And from where I stand—though I may disagree—I don’t feel offended, upset, or regretful that you shared it. I admire you. Well done. (And by the way, this gives me exactly what I need when I'm asked why I am eager to move to another part of the world, so thank you for this. )
Patti, I thank you for your kind words, and I appreciate your sharing that you disagree with many of the points here. Since you don't say which ones, I can't respond in detail. But maybe that's OK.
Of course there is always deeper context, and the USA is such a vast and complex country that any attempt to describe it will always fall far short. I can only hedge what I say by repeating that this is just my own personal analysis, and it may be insufficient or wrong. Also, I limited it to about 2000 words, when I could have written 20,000.
I especially appreciate that you say you don't feel offended or upset by the text. If others would say the same, then I have achieved my goals.
Is there anything about the United States that you have gotten to appreciate or identify with more?
For me it's the optimism. Americans are positive-thinking people who believe that hard work, a few lifestyle changes or the right belief system can lead to a better life. This has bad manifestations, like get rich quick scams or weird cults, but also good ones. Americans are ambitious and goal-oriented. They are eager to change their lives and embrace new ideas.
Living in a foreign country has made me recognize that this is a particular aspect of my character, and one that I value. Where I live, people are more conformist and have smaller horizons. Fitting in is valued more than effort or ambition. In this case, I prefer the American mindset.
P.S: I grew up in New Hampshire and regularly took the bus to my friends' houses. But we lived in one of the wealthier (and more densely populated) areas of the state.
Chris, you raise a good point. I agree that a very positive aspect of American culture is the believe that improvement is better. I also share this belief. By contrast, European cultures can seem overly complacent or even fatalistic. In that sense, the American comfort with change can be seen as a positive thing.
It's a vast, cursed minefield of a topic (to use a suitably violent metaphor), and I applaud your effort to scramble across it. I'll be curious about how many subscribers you end up losing because of this post, but think you're right in concluding that you had to publish it. The question of America—loving it (or not) and leaving it (or not)—is central to your project here. And recent events, involving as they do the apparent radical implosion of many redeeming features of the American scene, make the topic even harder to avoid.
For, indeed, it’s getting much worse. Until a minute ago, one could point to elements of US life that quite reasonably drew bright, ambitious, cosmopolitan people from Europe and elsewhere to our shores: a free and vibrant culture (popular and otherwise); a dynamic business climate, shielded by the rule of law and marked by an openness to new talent and new ideas; an infrastructure of research and higher education that promotes enlightenment, innovation, and prosperity. In less than two months, the Trump regime has shown that it will—and probably can—destroy those and other national assets rather quickly.
I mostly agree with your observations, and would toss out just a couple of quibbles. First, as an American trained in American history and politics, I think you adopt an overly deterministic view of the cultural and political trends that you describe. As I see it, the American story has long been a tale of tensions—between beauty and ugliness, progress and reaction, reason and madness—and a deep descent into ugliness, reaction, and madness was less inevitable than you suggest. Second, I’d caution against assuming that European countries are especially immune to the forces (from capitalism to nativism, and beyond) that have made the US a place that’s well worth leaving. You nod toward the rise of right-wing extremism across the Continent. But that point merits more than a nod. Remember the old cliché: When America sneezes, Europe catches a cold.
Thanks for this very thoughtful comment, Mike. Let me reply more briefly. Yes, this post has lost me subscribers, but not more than I have gained, so it evens out, and hopefully I will end up with subscribers who are more aligned with my own worldview.
I did not go into the many positive aspects of the United States, as they are not the ones that have changed since I moved abroad—until very recently, when everything seems to be changing. My project was to describe my own experience of the US over the past couple of decades.
I don't deny that my view of history is overly simplistic—I have never really claimed otherwise. But it is true that I saw the US becoming intolerable already twenty years ago, and left. That didn't mean that it would necessarily end up with an authoritarian regime, of course. I started to sense that emerging post-2016. I am not suggesting that Europe is immune to capitalism, nativism, or fascism—these things were invented here! But I think that, if I have to choose a place to live as the world goes through the throes of a violent swing to the right, I will choose Europe. America has been too dominant for too long, and is poised for a much more devastating fall, in my opinion.
I read both your essays, I’m curious why you choose to remain a citizen. Not intended as a snarky question. Is there a practical reason? I know dual citizenship can sometimes be tricky to obtain. Is it beneficial to retain? I will also add that if you interviewed a group of progressive Americans, I think they would actually agree with much of what you say in Part 2.
Thank you, Renata! Actually, it was pretty easy to write, but pretty hard to publish. These things are always there in my mind, but I was very hesitant to share them, because ultimately, I don’t want to offend people.
I've read and re-read this column and all the very thoughtful comments. Thank you for writing this.
I have an interesting, slightly different perspective. I am British, and went to the USA in 1991 to work, via an ex-pat contract with the British company I was working with. After a few years they wanted me to stay, and it made sense for me to stay, as the company was expanding in the US. I got my green card and became a 'Resident Alien' in 1996. And yes, that was what was written on my green card (which was actually pink). Things were good, things were happy, and things seemed to be on an even keel. And then 2001 and 9/11 happened. As you said, that's when things started to shift a little.
I was living and working in California, and I chose to live in a very small town between LA and San Diego, which has no strip malls, no chains, and the topography and architecture was and still is beautiful. As an aside, prior to moving to CA I lived in MD, where my company was then located before the CA move, and again chose a small town to live in: Annapolis. I tend to gravitate to small, historical towns rather than cities and suburbia, and that does make a difference.
By 2008 when Barack Obama was elected, I was immensely proud to be a part of a vibrant, multi-cultural country who had elected a person of colour. That was what made the leap for me to become a US citizen in 2013, after living in the country for 12 years.
And then in 2016 everything changed. When the current president was elected for his first term I was pretty vocal about my disillusionment. For the first time since living in the US as a white, British female, I was told by quite a few people in no uncertain terms that if I didn't like it I should go back to where I came from. As an immigrant, even one with US citizenship, I was 'different'. And different was not good.
By 2019, enough was enough for me. Career-wise I was burned out after decades in corporate America. Politically I was shocked to the core by what was going on. I made the decision to move back to the UK after almost 30 years out of the country. And here I am in 2025. I've been in the UK for just over 5 years, in a country I've had to learn about all over again, and from which I view the machinations of everything in the US through the same eyes you've talked about in this piece Gregory. The UK isn't perfect, but it feels safe, it's now home, and I know that if I get sick I can get help without bankrupting myself, and I don't have to worry about anyone packing a gun in the supermarket. I still have family and friends in the US, including my adult daughter, and I haven't set foot back there since I left in 2019: primarily because of the pandemic, and also having very little money to travel. But now, to add to that, I sadly realise that I just don't want to go there.
I am torn, and I understand everything you say. I'm sad, and angry, and embarrassed, and frustrated by it all.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sally! It saddens me to hear about someone who was once a proud naturalized American deciding to leave again because of what has been happening. I too was overjoyed when Obama was elected, but by that point I had actually already abandoned the country because the decline was clear to me. (I didn't know how much worse things were going to get, though I had my suspicions.)
I'm glad that your view of the US chimes with what I wrote here, and I understand your lack of desire to visit. It is all very, very sad. Sometime I'd like to hear more about life in the UK now as opposed to life there 30 years ago. I'm sure there's a lot to say.
Thanks Gregory. And yes there is a lot to say about this transition back to a place where I sound like I belong but have missed three decades of popular culture.
I’m going to write more about that. This whole concept of ‘home’ is a lot more complicated when you’ve moved around. As you know all too well!
And I’m still thinking about Clarissa as Spring arrives and I look for Harold and Maud to return…
I agree. These are things I feel I’ve been observing but haven’t felt comfortable mentioning among friend groups because it’s all so seemingly accepted as part of American culture. But I agree with all of what you discuss. Thank you for this piece.
Thank you for your support, Callie. I'm glad that you appreciated the piece. I'm also sad that these are things that can't be openly discussed in a lot of social contexts.
I wish I could unsee, all that I see now. I'm a bit naïve by nature (nurture?). I have long believed the best in people. But now? Here, now, at home in the USA? 9/11 was a turning point - yes. For a flash, a brief moment, we were one. Together. Even the world was one with US(a). And then the leadership squandered it, tossed it all away. Innocent once, I wish I could see the world as a child again. Innocence lost. How might we ever find our way home? I need it. The world needs it. For America to find its way home.
I read this as we are going to meet later today courtesy of Sarah Fay Live.
I really enjoyed the clarity of your writing. I don't dispute your conclusions. I think if I lived in America I'd probably want to leave too!
So my question for myself is do I live in America or do I live in a bubble on the island of Manhattan?
Hi David! I'm looking forward to meeting you. You bring up a good point: How many Americas are there? The answer to that question is incredibly complex, though.
Even if you look at it from a political perspective, the USA has only one president (though some argue that that may not be true at the moment), but thanks to the federal system, there is a separate government with all three branches in each state. We could say the same thing about cultures. And of course, NYC, being bigger than many states, sometimes seems to have its own reality.
But let's not forget that these multiple realities overlap and intertwine. Once a pop song hits the charts, you will have trouble avoiding it no matter where you go. And ICE can snatch you off the street and whisk you away to an undisclosed location whether you're in Albuquerque, Atlanta, New York, or Boston.
So I would humbly submit that you live in a bubble that is still part of the reality of modern America. Does that seem fair? The problem is, we know what bubbles tend to do...
Fair!
I agree with this description of American life and culture. But I have slowly realized over my lifetime that America has always been this way. I recently read Fanny Trollope’s Domestic Manners of the Americans published 1832. The roots of the troubling culture we have today was strikingly evident even then.
Fascinating observation, Emily! I agree that certain aspects of contemporary American culture have been around for a very long time (perhaps since the beginning). But I don't believe that it _had_ to play out this way.
(sorry for the deletion: my first attempt to post this comment barfed back at me)
Oh, I bet this was painful to write, Gregory. When I am putting together the evidence of what my birth country has become, it is always emotionally difficult to express.
I’ve been gone somewhat longer than you, but I think the pace of decline really accelerated in the last two decades. When I would come back to the US in the 90s or early 00’s, I felt mildly bemused, like the great-aunt who doesn’t get out much anymore. My mum used to laugh at me getting lost in the supermarket: When I was living in barely-post-communist eastern Europe, the average Price Chopper in semi-rural upstate New York was an awe-inspiring experience. So many varieties of canned tomatoes!
Now there is a Walmart or Costco or similar giant warehouse in every town, people buy groceries at Target, and everywhere are these signs shouting at me (like your trauma-inducing photo). One really gets the impression that Americans exist to shop, to spend, to consume. Put bluntly, no wonder the economy (and by economy, I do not mean the stock market. I mean the economy.) has been on the road to hell. No one in the US makes anything anymore and everyone wants everything bigger and cheaper. A country can neither maintain healthy trade balances nor jobs that pay a living wage if the only measurement anyone cares about is Having More Stuff.
At some point I realized people were getting larger–– not just obese, but larger. In Switzerland where I live, the (surly) shop assistants give me the head-to-toe glance and say “I doubt we have that in your size” because I am not the short and wiry miniature woman-shape common here. (I am a Slav and I have hips.) In the US, however, I am downright petite. In college I was a tall girl and now it seems that the majority are taller and broader than I am. I find this quite disorienting.
The shallow friendliness got on my nerves when I still lived in the US (but I’ve always been a curmudgeon), but I did understand why all the Europeans always praised the abundance of light conversation. However, my visits over the past couple years have left me feeling distinctly unsettled because I feel that the “pleasantness to public life” that you describe is vanishing. (see https://carolinesmrstik.substack.com/p/back-in-the-us)
I’ve often felt very conflicted about my decision to renounce my US citizenship. With my birth country having reached the point it has now, I am now content to be able to document the distance I feel.
What I’ve always thought is that the United States is an uncivilized country: we still live as though we are on the frontier, individualistic, rugged, fending for ourselves. 250 years hasn’t done much to take that mindset away.
Rachel, I see your point, and I do think that the “frontier mindset” did inform the American worldview in a permanent way. Take, for example, the deep mistrust of government—which is ultimately what is behind the lack of affordable healthcare in the US. At the same time, this is also why Americans make such good entrepreneurs; there is that sense that with hard work, anything is possible.
Great piece, man. Great comment section, too. You've made a great platform and this is an excellent way to use it--as a lot of the commenters note, you can deliver hard medicine with grace. I agree with all of it. I'll not that the ugly landscape can be home to riotous diversity--the stripmalls of the Sun Belt have the best restaurants from over the world. That the current turn back home runs directly against this--that's the heartbreak. They're missing the point. Anyhow! A comfort to read this, in a strange way. Thanks!
Thank you, friend Dan! I'm glad you liked the piece, but again, I'm sorry that you agree with it. You make a very good point about diversity: that is the real strength of the US. American culture is made so much richer by the inclusion of people from all over the world, and it IS heartbreaking that the current regime is trying to hunt down and destroy diversity. I hope and pray that that will never succeed.
On the topic of "The thing that most Europeans understand is that performative patriotism is closely allied with fascism. One of the building blocks of a fascist state is an intense promotion of the fatherland above all other nations—a fetishization of the homeland and its deep specialness, frequently with racial overtones. This has been present in the United States for many decades, and has always made Europeans uncomfortable."
You may find N.S. Lyons' essay on "Love of a Nation" to be an interesting read. I quite wonder what the average European would make of his points here. https://substack.com/home/post/p-158979738
Thank you for pointing my to this essay. I think it is a excellent piece, though I lack the historical knowledge to be able to agree or disagree with its characterization of how postwar society was managed. I agree with many of the points made (though not all). I especially like these quotes:
"In both cases America is viewed as analogous to a corporation. In such a corporation, management’s only responsibility is to profits; it has no inherent responsibility to employees or their wellbeing, something of interest only insofar as it translates into productivity."
"It is preferable that the masses simply not care very much – about anything, but especially about the fate of their nation and the common good."
To the extent that what Lyons says about modern Western nations is true, it does seem that a capitalist mindset has been slowly replacing a view based on good governance—and thus it is probably no surprise that we now see the USA controlled by a cadre of elitist businessmen.
It irks me a bit that Lyons uses "love" as the central term of the essay without ever defining it. Why does nobody ever try to define love, especially when it clearly means different things to different people?
But to return to your query about patriotism, I think that there is a big difference between real love of country and the "performative" patriotism that I was talking about. The British elites going off to fight in the trenches in WWI is very different from people attaching four flags to their pickup truck and telling a guy with only two flags on his truck to "go back to Afghanistan" (A supposedly true story told by Bill Maher after 9/11). This latter kind of patriotism can, I think, easily become a shroud to disguise the demonization of others and the exercise of violence.
I agree and disagree on so many points that this is all I can say: It’s an extremely well-written piece, and your observations are spot on. However, there may be deeper context that, when explored, reveals things aren’t always as they seem. I admire your writing and congratulate you on sharing your perspective. And from where I stand—though I may disagree—I don’t feel offended, upset, or regretful that you shared it. I admire you. Well done. (And by the way, this gives me exactly what I need when I'm asked why I am eager to move to another part of the world, so thank you for this. )
Patti, I thank you for your kind words, and I appreciate your sharing that you disagree with many of the points here. Since you don't say which ones, I can't respond in detail. But maybe that's OK.
Of course there is always deeper context, and the USA is such a vast and complex country that any attempt to describe it will always fall far short. I can only hedge what I say by repeating that this is just my own personal analysis, and it may be insufficient or wrong. Also, I limited it to about 2000 words, when I could have written 20,000.
I especially appreciate that you say you don't feel offended or upset by the text. If others would say the same, then I have achieved my goals.
Is there anything about the United States that you have gotten to appreciate or identify with more?
For me it's the optimism. Americans are positive-thinking people who believe that hard work, a few lifestyle changes or the right belief system can lead to a better life. This has bad manifestations, like get rich quick scams or weird cults, but also good ones. Americans are ambitious and goal-oriented. They are eager to change their lives and embrace new ideas.
Living in a foreign country has made me recognize that this is a particular aspect of my character, and one that I value. Where I live, people are more conformist and have smaller horizons. Fitting in is valued more than effort or ambition. In this case, I prefer the American mindset.
P.S: I grew up in New Hampshire and regularly took the bus to my friends' houses. But we lived in one of the wealthier (and more densely populated) areas of the state.
Chris, you raise a good point. I agree that a very positive aspect of American culture is the believe that improvement is better. I also share this belief. By contrast, European cultures can seem overly complacent or even fatalistic. In that sense, the American comfort with change can be seen as a positive thing.
I wish I could say you were wrong but if anything you were more than fair. Skewing to a more positive tone than many of us are feeling!
I'm sorry to hear that, Jonel. Stay strong!
It's a vast, cursed minefield of a topic (to use a suitably violent metaphor), and I applaud your effort to scramble across it. I'll be curious about how many subscribers you end up losing because of this post, but think you're right in concluding that you had to publish it. The question of America—loving it (or not) and leaving it (or not)—is central to your project here. And recent events, involving as they do the apparent radical implosion of many redeeming features of the American scene, make the topic even harder to avoid.
For, indeed, it’s getting much worse. Until a minute ago, one could point to elements of US life that quite reasonably drew bright, ambitious, cosmopolitan people from Europe and elsewhere to our shores: a free and vibrant culture (popular and otherwise); a dynamic business climate, shielded by the rule of law and marked by an openness to new talent and new ideas; an infrastructure of research and higher education that promotes enlightenment, innovation, and prosperity. In less than two months, the Trump regime has shown that it will—and probably can—destroy those and other national assets rather quickly.
I mostly agree with your observations, and would toss out just a couple of quibbles. First, as an American trained in American history and politics, I think you adopt an overly deterministic view of the cultural and political trends that you describe. As I see it, the American story has long been a tale of tensions—between beauty and ugliness, progress and reaction, reason and madness—and a deep descent into ugliness, reaction, and madness was less inevitable than you suggest. Second, I’d caution against assuming that European countries are especially immune to the forces (from capitalism to nativism, and beyond) that have made the US a place that’s well worth leaving. You nod toward the rise of right-wing extremism across the Continent. But that point merits more than a nod. Remember the old cliché: When America sneezes, Europe catches a cold.
Thanks for this very thoughtful comment, Mike. Let me reply more briefly. Yes, this post has lost me subscribers, but not more than I have gained, so it evens out, and hopefully I will end up with subscribers who are more aligned with my own worldview.
I did not go into the many positive aspects of the United States, as they are not the ones that have changed since I moved abroad—until very recently, when everything seems to be changing. My project was to describe my own experience of the US over the past couple of decades.
I don't deny that my view of history is overly simplistic—I have never really claimed otherwise. But it is true that I saw the US becoming intolerable already twenty years ago, and left. That didn't mean that it would necessarily end up with an authoritarian regime, of course. I started to sense that emerging post-2016. I am not suggesting that Europe is immune to capitalism, nativism, or fascism—these things were invented here! But I think that, if I have to choose a place to live as the world goes through the throes of a violent swing to the right, I will choose Europe. America has been too dominant for too long, and is poised for a much more devastating fall, in my opinion.
I read both your essays, I’m curious why you choose to remain a citizen. Not intended as a snarky question. Is there a practical reason? I know dual citizenship can sometimes be tricky to obtain. Is it beneficial to retain? I will also add that if you interviewed a group of progressive Americans, I think they would actually agree with much of what you say in Part 2.
Hi Larry. That's an excellent question. There are three reasons I retain my US citizenship, besides the fact that there was no obstacle to doing so:
1. I do not reject the United States as a country. I love the country and believe in the project that it represents.
2. I believe that I can best effect positive change in the US as a citizen.
3. I still have family and friends in the US, and I want to be assured that I will be able to continue to visit them.
great piece. and hard to write, I guess.
Thank you, Renata! Actually, it was pretty easy to write, but pretty hard to publish. These things are always there in my mind, but I was very hesitant to share them, because ultimately, I don’t want to offend people.
I've read and re-read this column and all the very thoughtful comments. Thank you for writing this.
I have an interesting, slightly different perspective. I am British, and went to the USA in 1991 to work, via an ex-pat contract with the British company I was working with. After a few years they wanted me to stay, and it made sense for me to stay, as the company was expanding in the US. I got my green card and became a 'Resident Alien' in 1996. And yes, that was what was written on my green card (which was actually pink). Things were good, things were happy, and things seemed to be on an even keel. And then 2001 and 9/11 happened. As you said, that's when things started to shift a little.
I was living and working in California, and I chose to live in a very small town between LA and San Diego, which has no strip malls, no chains, and the topography and architecture was and still is beautiful. As an aside, prior to moving to CA I lived in MD, where my company was then located before the CA move, and again chose a small town to live in: Annapolis. I tend to gravitate to small, historical towns rather than cities and suburbia, and that does make a difference.
By 2008 when Barack Obama was elected, I was immensely proud to be a part of a vibrant, multi-cultural country who had elected a person of colour. That was what made the leap for me to become a US citizen in 2013, after living in the country for 12 years.
And then in 2016 everything changed. When the current president was elected for his first term I was pretty vocal about my disillusionment. For the first time since living in the US as a white, British female, I was told by quite a few people in no uncertain terms that if I didn't like it I should go back to where I came from. As an immigrant, even one with US citizenship, I was 'different'. And different was not good.
By 2019, enough was enough for me. Career-wise I was burned out after decades in corporate America. Politically I was shocked to the core by what was going on. I made the decision to move back to the UK after almost 30 years out of the country. And here I am in 2025. I've been in the UK for just over 5 years, in a country I've had to learn about all over again, and from which I view the machinations of everything in the US through the same eyes you've talked about in this piece Gregory. The UK isn't perfect, but it feels safe, it's now home, and I know that if I get sick I can get help without bankrupting myself, and I don't have to worry about anyone packing a gun in the supermarket. I still have family and friends in the US, including my adult daughter, and I haven't set foot back there since I left in 2019: primarily because of the pandemic, and also having very little money to travel. But now, to add to that, I sadly realise that I just don't want to go there.
I am torn, and I understand everything you say. I'm sad, and angry, and embarrassed, and frustrated by it all.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sally! It saddens me to hear about someone who was once a proud naturalized American deciding to leave again because of what has been happening. I too was overjoyed when Obama was elected, but by that point I had actually already abandoned the country because the decline was clear to me. (I didn't know how much worse things were going to get, though I had my suspicions.)
I'm glad that your view of the US chimes with what I wrote here, and I understand your lack of desire to visit. It is all very, very sad. Sometime I'd like to hear more about life in the UK now as opposed to life there 30 years ago. I'm sure there's a lot to say.
Thanks Gregory. And yes there is a lot to say about this transition back to a place where I sound like I belong but have missed three decades of popular culture.
I’m going to write more about that. This whole concept of ‘home’ is a lot more complicated when you’ve moved around. As you know all too well!
And I’m still thinking about Clarissa as Spring arrives and I look for Harold and Maud to return…
Oh, I hope they will come back! ❤️🕊️ I still find myself giving funny looks to pigeons on the street…
Thank you
I agree. These are things I feel I’ve been observing but haven’t felt comfortable mentioning among friend groups because it’s all so seemingly accepted as part of American culture. But I agree with all of what you discuss. Thank you for this piece.
Thank you for your support, Callie. I'm glad that you appreciated the piece. I'm also sad that these are things that can't be openly discussed in a lot of social contexts.