Thanks for sharing, Gregory. As someone who also caught the "living abroad" bug, I've always loved the constant change it gives me...but it's also been challenging to truly feel "at home."
But I was curious...have you ever moved back to the US—and like Hirayama—tried to find the beauty of living there?
Hi David! Thanks for being here. I know what you mean about the thrill of constant change, and how that is at odds with feeling "at home". My view is that I am "at home" in any place where I feel safe and centered. That may be the place where I grew up, or it may be a place I have discovered more recently. I have definitely felt more at home in Europe than in the US for the past couple decades.
As for moving back to the US and finding beauty, yes I have done it. I spent much of my 20s and 30s in the US, going to graduate school among other things, and I looked for beauty there in the same way I would in Europe. I find that nature is a sure win: the ice on the lake by my parents' house, framed by pines with their arms outstretched, is as dear to me as any other scene. And the urban landscape of Boston, which feels like home to me (or has done) can be thrilling in much the same way as Amsterdam. I admit to having trouble with strip malls. But you know, even puddles on asphalt can be beautiful in the right light. I think it really is a question of being on the lookout for beauty.
Thanks Gregory. I can relate to feeling more at home in Europe too. But you're right, it's about finding beauty wherever we are. Perhaps that's the lesson for me to learn right now in life. Thanks and for the Hirayama recommendation (bookmarked)!
I think it's not a bad lesson. Speaking of good films, I don't know whether you have seen "American Beauty", but in it a teenager shares a video of "the most beautiful thing" he's ever seen—which is a plastic bag dancing in the wind. And it really is beautiful. Beauty is there. We just need to look for it.
Well written , and such a great point!! I remember teaching this to postpartum women in my online course when I very first recorded it. This lesson never ever gets old - it is what makes life feel alive! And we are in complete control of it.
Perspective truly is everything, isn’t it? Still, I can’t wait to get back to Europe (very soon!) to take in all the beauty again. So charming there and so so different than the United States. I wonder if Europeans have a similar experience when they visit the US or if they are horrified by what they find? (I suppose it depends on their perspective…and the exact location.)
Yes, Asia, perspective really is everything (or most everything)! The Europeans I have talked to after they visited the US are usually enchanted with it, but NOT because it is beautiful. Instead, they are fascinated by the culture—for example, how friendly and fun-loving people tend to be.
I so understand what you are talking about here. I lived outside the United States and traveled extensively in my 20s and early 30s. I used to marvel at the 'lucky' people who carried out their day to day lives in beautiful, ancient villages and cities. Coming back to the U.S was difficult at first. My life felt ordinary and dull. Over time, I began to see that my own day to day life is happening in a beautiful place. I had to step back and see it with a different eye. Often, when I yearn to travel, but cannot, I remind myself of those people going about their everyday lives and know that I am one of them too.
Absolutely loooooved this post. As a fervent traveller I realize I have been hemmablind but now that I can't return to my og hemma in Venezuela I can only imprint my soul with its photos and memories. I even feel fomo of my friends still experiencing its beauty in spite of the Dictatorship.
What an incredibly useful word, “hemmablind”! And ahhh, “Perfect Days”. ❤️ I did a write-up of the film a few weeks ago, such a pleasure to spend so much time with it!
I also think Lisbon is a particularly beautiful city, and judging by the tourist crowds and the countless social media photos, we are not alone in that opinion. But what is interesting to me is that it's not beautiful because an architect designed it to be that way, like parts of Paris or Rome.
Lisbon was was designed for living, the streets scaled for humans, the buildings mostly plain in design, concrete and stone and roof tiles chosen because they are practical and affordable. But over time, with the patina of age and a bit of colourful paint and just the right amount of shabbyness, they become something else altogether. The city's aesthetic is shocking to eyes accustomed to the bland office glass towers and suburban stroads of North America.
But, we too often kill what we love, and I'm afraid the world's newfound appreciation for Lisbon's streets will lead to a polishing away of everything that makes it beautiful.
Thanks, Gary! I am glad that you share my appreciation of Lisbon, including how different it is from cities in North America, but also most cities in Europe. And yes, it is partly the human scale of the city that I love so much. I could go on for hours about the changes being wrought in Lisbon, but I won’t do that here. Maybe I’ll save it for a future essay. Or maybe I’ll spare people. 😊
Thank you for this post. Loved to learn this new word and concept, though, living in Rio, I can't say that I feel it on a day-to-day basis. :-)
Loved also the insight on what beauty is, not inherent to the beautiful thing but rather a feeling that belongs to the beauty-sensitive.
It also reminded me of something my sister told me, about when she lived in London and used to say to her friends on a full moon "look at the moon!" (which is a very common thing to say here) and everybody was like "so what? the moon is up there, as always" as if there was nothing wonderful about it.
Hi Renata! I'm glad you liked the post. I know that Rio has a large share of beauty, but do you think that cariocas (or Brazilians in general) are better at noticing beauty than Londoners (or Brits in general)? If so, that's a very interesting observation. I wonder what would lie behind such a difference...
I hadn't thought about that.. and I'm not so sure. I never forgot this moon thing because for us it's so odd not to admire the moon. Maybe less blasé? :-)
Maybe Londoners in particular are rather disconnected from nature? London is such a big, urban place, and the Brits don’t even dress appropriately for the season. 😂
Thank you. I am a fan of beauty amd strive to see it everywhere although this is not difficult living in San Diego. I am fortunate. I love the idea of “hemmablind.” I think so many living here forget to notice the beauty around them. Mindfulness helps with that and finding beauty is definitely something that can be practiced and taught. I taught my son to stop and notice the beauty. Thanks for the article.
This so resonates with me. My publication is named Distracted by Pretty Things, and in my profile I say “Beauty is all around, and I am constantly distracted by it.” I write with the lens of a midlife woman muddling through life trying to find all the beauty I can along the way - even in the dark moments and times of loss and in the simplest of things like trees or aging bodies. Thanks for this article. And for teaching me the word hemmablind.
It's nice to meet you, Leslie! A question for you: How much of it is actually distraction, and how much of it is simply looking at the world from the perspective of seeing beauty? I mean, I do sometimes sit on a bench and stare at the green and purple iridescence on the neck of a pigeon, but that doesn't take up my whole day, so I don't feel a need to say it's a distraction. If you see what I mean. 😊
I do see what you mean. I say distraction because for me it’s like Doug the dog from the movie Up. I might be in the middle of something serious or important or emotional, and it’s like “Squirrel!” That cloud floating by or the song that comes on or the color of something grabs my attention. Distractions in a good way! But I do try to find the beauty (which to me also means feeling gratitude) in all things.
Love that concept and I can honestly say it's one of my favorite things about traveling -- both constantly appreciating my new surroundings, but also learning to see beauty in all sorts of things.
I know, Michael, isn't it! Do you ever get saturated, though? I mean, you travel more than anybody I know. Do you ever feel overwhelmed and think, "Just take me to a strip mall!"?
This is my first encounter with your writing and I can't believe how it resonates. I'm contemplating a move to Europe very soon (yolo!). Quite literally as I was stretching before bed last night, I caught a glimpse of a pillow propped on the chair in the corner of my room and I thought wow- how rarely I "see" it among many other items in my home. What kismet to read this upon waking! I am an avid traveler and have studied French for over 30 years. I enjoy the way other langues open new windows, new ways of seeing or experiencing the everyday. And travel is even more of a dose of wonder with its fully immersive experience. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more in the coming year!
Thank you, Mary! It sounds like you might really be someone who is ready for a big move. You are welcome to read the other pieces on this Substack; you may find that they also resonate with your situation. Nice to have you here!
Thanks for sharing, Gregory. As someone who also caught the "living abroad" bug, I've always loved the constant change it gives me...but it's also been challenging to truly feel "at home."
But I was curious...have you ever moved back to the US—and like Hirayama—tried to find the beauty of living there?
Hi David! Thanks for being here. I know what you mean about the thrill of constant change, and how that is at odds with feeling "at home". My view is that I am "at home" in any place where I feel safe and centered. That may be the place where I grew up, or it may be a place I have discovered more recently. I have definitely felt more at home in Europe than in the US for the past couple decades.
As for moving back to the US and finding beauty, yes I have done it. I spent much of my 20s and 30s in the US, going to graduate school among other things, and I looked for beauty there in the same way I would in Europe. I find that nature is a sure win: the ice on the lake by my parents' house, framed by pines with their arms outstretched, is as dear to me as any other scene. And the urban landscape of Boston, which feels like home to me (or has done) can be thrilling in much the same way as Amsterdam. I admit to having trouble with strip malls. But you know, even puddles on asphalt can be beautiful in the right light. I think it really is a question of being on the lookout for beauty.
Thanks Gregory. I can relate to feeling more at home in Europe too. But you're right, it's about finding beauty wherever we are. Perhaps that's the lesson for me to learn right now in life. Thanks and for the Hirayama recommendation (bookmarked)!
I think it's not a bad lesson. Speaking of good films, I don't know whether you have seen "American Beauty", but in it a teenager shares a video of "the most beautiful thing" he's ever seen—which is a plastic bag dancing in the wind. And it really is beautiful. Beauty is there. We just need to look for it.
Well written , and such a great point!! I remember teaching this to postpartum women in my online course when I very first recorded it. This lesson never ever gets old - it is what makes life feel alive! And we are in complete control of it.
Thanks again!
I'm so glad that it resonated with your experience, Elizabeth. Thanks very much!
Beautiful!
Thanks! And who can argue about beauty with someone named Joy?
Perspective truly is everything, isn’t it? Still, I can’t wait to get back to Europe (very soon!) to take in all the beauty again. So charming there and so so different than the United States. I wonder if Europeans have a similar experience when they visit the US or if they are horrified by what they find? (I suppose it depends on their perspective…and the exact location.)
Yes, Asia, perspective really is everything (or most everything)! The Europeans I have talked to after they visited the US are usually enchanted with it, but NOT because it is beautiful. Instead, they are fascinated by the culture—for example, how friendly and fun-loving people tend to be.
I so understand what you are talking about here. I lived outside the United States and traveled extensively in my 20s and early 30s. I used to marvel at the 'lucky' people who carried out their day to day lives in beautiful, ancient villages and cities. Coming back to the U.S was difficult at first. My life felt ordinary and dull. Over time, I began to see that my own day to day life is happening in a beautiful place. I had to step back and see it with a different eye. Often, when I yearn to travel, but cannot, I remind myself of those people going about their everyday lives and know that I am one of them too.
It sounds like travel had exactly the effect on you that I tried to describe here. That's wonderful!
I’m so excited for our upcoming trip after reading this. So excited to get elsewhere. Love that you write into a subtle space here
I’m excited about your trip, too! I promise to show you many of my favorite ugly things! 😁
Det var den ❤️
Perfect Days was a wonderful movie!
Wasn’t it though! Den var helt underbar!
Absolutely loooooved this post. As a fervent traveller I realize I have been hemmablind but now that I can't return to my og hemma in Venezuela I can only imprint my soul with its photos and memories. I even feel fomo of my friends still experiencing its beauty in spite of the Dictatorship.
Thank you, Janine! I’m so sorry you can’t go home. 💔 It’s really hemmablind vs. saudade, isn’t it?
Totally!! Or maybe and/or of both!!
What an incredibly useful word, “hemmablind”! And ahhh, “Perfect Days”. ❤️ I did a write-up of the film a few weeks ago, such a pleasure to spend so much time with it!
Oooh, Michael, I will have to look for that. Isn’t it a gorgeous film? And the acting by Koji Yakusho! So great…
Right? That ending especially. 💔 What a performance!
I also think Lisbon is a particularly beautiful city, and judging by the tourist crowds and the countless social media photos, we are not alone in that opinion. But what is interesting to me is that it's not beautiful because an architect designed it to be that way, like parts of Paris or Rome.
Lisbon was was designed for living, the streets scaled for humans, the buildings mostly plain in design, concrete and stone and roof tiles chosen because they are practical and affordable. But over time, with the patina of age and a bit of colourful paint and just the right amount of shabbyness, they become something else altogether. The city's aesthetic is shocking to eyes accustomed to the bland office glass towers and suburban stroads of North America.
But, we too often kill what we love, and I'm afraid the world's newfound appreciation for Lisbon's streets will lead to a polishing away of everything that makes it beautiful.
Thanks, Gary! I am glad that you share my appreciation of Lisbon, including how different it is from cities in North America, but also most cities in Europe. And yes, it is partly the human scale of the city that I love so much. I could go on for hours about the changes being wrought in Lisbon, but I won’t do that here. Maybe I’ll save it for a future essay. Or maybe I’ll spare people. 😊
Thank you for this post. Loved to learn this new word and concept, though, living in Rio, I can't say that I feel it on a day-to-day basis. :-)
Loved also the insight on what beauty is, not inherent to the beautiful thing but rather a feeling that belongs to the beauty-sensitive.
It also reminded me of something my sister told me, about when she lived in London and used to say to her friends on a full moon "look at the moon!" (which is a very common thing to say here) and everybody was like "so what? the moon is up there, as always" as if there was nothing wonderful about it.
Hi Renata! I'm glad you liked the post. I know that Rio has a large share of beauty, but do you think that cariocas (or Brazilians in general) are better at noticing beauty than Londoners (or Brits in general)? If so, that's a very interesting observation. I wonder what would lie behind such a difference...
I hadn't thought about that.. and I'm not so sure. I never forgot this moon thing because for us it's so odd not to admire the moon. Maybe less blasé? :-)
Maybe Londoners in particular are rather disconnected from nature? London is such a big, urban place, and the Brits don’t even dress appropriately for the season. 😂
Thank you. I am a fan of beauty amd strive to see it everywhere although this is not difficult living in San Diego. I am fortunate. I love the idea of “hemmablind.” I think so many living here forget to notice the beauty around them. Mindfulness helps with that and finding beauty is definitely something that can be practiced and taught. I taught my son to stop and notice the beauty. Thanks for the article.
Thank you, Melinda! And yes, though I didn't mention mindfulness specifically, in a sense that's exactly what I'm talking about here.
I think it is so great that you taught your son to notice beauty. We need more of that in this world!
This so resonates with me. My publication is named Distracted by Pretty Things, and in my profile I say “Beauty is all around, and I am constantly distracted by it.” I write with the lens of a midlife woman muddling through life trying to find all the beauty I can along the way - even in the dark moments and times of loss and in the simplest of things like trees or aging bodies. Thanks for this article. And for teaching me the word hemmablind.
It's nice to meet you, Leslie! A question for you: How much of it is actually distraction, and how much of it is simply looking at the world from the perspective of seeing beauty? I mean, I do sometimes sit on a bench and stare at the green and purple iridescence on the neck of a pigeon, but that doesn't take up my whole day, so I don't feel a need to say it's a distraction. If you see what I mean. 😊
I do see what you mean. I say distraction because for me it’s like Doug the dog from the movie Up. I might be in the middle of something serious or important or emotional, and it’s like “Squirrel!” That cloud floating by or the song that comes on or the color of something grabs my attention. Distractions in a good way! But I do try to find the beauty (which to me also means feeling gratitude) in all things.
Yes, thank you for mentioning gratitude, because I see that as a key part of the experience of beauty.
Love that concept and I can honestly say it's one of my favorite things about traveling -- both constantly appreciating my new surroundings, but also learning to see beauty in all sorts of things.
I know, Michael, isn't it! Do you ever get saturated, though? I mean, you travel more than anybody I know. Do you ever feel overwhelmed and think, "Just take me to a strip mall!"?
This is my first encounter with your writing and I can't believe how it resonates. I'm contemplating a move to Europe very soon (yolo!). Quite literally as I was stretching before bed last night, I caught a glimpse of a pillow propped on the chair in the corner of my room and I thought wow- how rarely I "see" it among many other items in my home. What kismet to read this upon waking! I am an avid traveler and have studied French for over 30 years. I enjoy the way other langues open new windows, new ways of seeing or experiencing the everyday. And travel is even more of a dose of wonder with its fully immersive experience. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more in the coming year!
Thank you, Mary! It sounds like you might really be someone who is ready for a big move. You are welcome to read the other pieces on this Substack; you may find that they also resonate with your situation. Nice to have you here!