So sorry for your loss, Gregory. And as with everyone writing here, I appreciate your beautiful use of Gabriel’s song, and how it must resonate for you, fixing a certain time and place with this important friendship, and laying him to rest in your mind.
Thanks, Eliza. My friendship with Larry is very much bound up in contexts and details from many years ago, which is what I was trying to evoke here. I am less certain that I conveyed what a wonderful person he was.
Yes, especially if you are focused on _story_, as I am, it feels like writing about things that happened will be more satisfying to the reader than just describing, gushing about what the person was like. But it is hard to find those rare incidents that stand metonymically for everything that person was.
Yes, also, we are here for reading about YOUR experiences and perspective. Ultimately, the story should tell us something about you (since you’ve set the reader up here to expect writing in the memoir vein).
Yes, a very good point. Ultimately, they're not reading my Substack to learn about my friends, they're reading it to learn about me, if anyone. Though I would love to think they are also hoping to learn something about themselves.
I'm so sorry for your loss💔 I just so happened to reconnect with Peter Gabriel's Solsbury Hill last week. Such a beautiful song and this is a beautiful tribute to your friend.
I met Larry on a couple of occasions, and your lovely, on-thick-ice wedding was one of them. This news comes (forgive the cliché) as a gut-punch. No doubt Larry’s family will appreciate your splendidly moving tribute. I know that I do.
It is hard when we start to lose old friends— especially childhood friends. It’s a tribute to you both that you managed to sustain your friendship despite the distance. What you can do now, despite that distance is stay close to Allison and their children. The kids especially will cherish the memories/stories of your friendship with Larry.
This is such a moving piece of writing. I’m so sorry for your loss. His and your laughter still ring through this to my ears, though, to the backdrop of Peter Gabriel and Solsbury Hill. A beautiful piece 🌹
I am sorry for your loss. What a wonderful tribute. I am so sorry this happened to Larry. He sounded like the type of person we need more of in the world. Much love to you, his wife, and his children.
The story of the man with the phone at the wedding made me laugh and think wistfully of my friend Emily. Emily died at 40 from breast cancer. At her funeral, all of us were weeping after a particularly moving hymn, when a very loud cell phone with the ring tone of an old fashioned phone started going off. As it continued to peal, we all looked around. Why wasn't the person silencing their phone? Someone cracked, "Pick up, it's Emily calling!" and we all began to laugh. The phone continued to ring, and at long last, a very old man stood up and shuffled out of the pew. His back was bowed. He might have had a cane. As he slowly (oh so slowly) made his way toward the back of the church, he finally picked up the call and very loudly yelled into his phone nearly the same thing as Larry's wedding guest: "I CAN'T TALK! I'M AT A FUNERAL!" I did not notice if he was wearing a silk trout tie. :) It is funny how these random and absurd moments serve as comic relief when we are grieving.
A moving tribute. What wonderful memories. I can relate to your guilt for moving to another country. I’m on the opposite coast of my family and that 3000 miles can feel quite significant when the health of someone you love is failing. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks, Renee. It’s true that many Americans move further away from their families and friends without leaving the US than a lot of Europeans who change countries do. We’re all in the same boat crossing the ocean.
Oh my god, what devastating news. I remember hanging out with you and Larry at your house, once I was old enough to drive over there. Though I certainly did not know him nearly as well as you did, I remember his wonderful sense of humor, and he always struck me as a genuinely good person. May he rest in peace.
So sorry, Gregory. What a warm tribute to Larry. I hope some catharsis in writing it and thank you for sharing your memories of your friend.
(Just found your writing via Eliza Anderson’s Note.)
Thank you very much, Wendy. And welcome!
So sorry for your loss, Gregory. And as with everyone writing here, I appreciate your beautiful use of Gabriel’s song, and how it must resonate for you, fixing a certain time and place with this important friendship, and laying him to rest in your mind.
Thanks, Eliza. My friendship with Larry is very much bound up in contexts and details from many years ago, which is what I was trying to evoke here. I am less certain that I conveyed what a wonderful person he was.
That’s exactly the anxiety I had memorializing my college mentor. I guess it’s a common insecurity with writing these things…
Yes, especially if you are focused on _story_, as I am, it feels like writing about things that happened will be more satisfying to the reader than just describing, gushing about what the person was like. But it is hard to find those rare incidents that stand metonymically for everything that person was.
Yes, also, we are here for reading about YOUR experiences and perspective. Ultimately, the story should tell us something about you (since you’ve set the reader up here to expect writing in the memoir vein).
Yes, a very good point. Ultimately, they're not reading my Substack to learn about my friends, they're reading it to learn about me, if anyone. Though I would love to think they are also hoping to learn something about themselves.
I'm so sorry for your loss💔 I just so happened to reconnect with Peter Gabriel's Solsbury Hill last week. Such a beautiful song and this is a beautiful tribute to your friend.
Thanks so much, Lisa! ❤️
I met Larry on a couple of occasions, and your lovely, on-thick-ice wedding was one of them. This news comes (forgive the cliché) as a gut-punch. No doubt Larry’s family will appreciate your splendidly moving tribute. I know that I do.
Thank you very much, Mike. ❤️
It is hard when we start to lose old friends— especially childhood friends. It’s a tribute to you both that you managed to sustain your friendship despite the distance. What you can do now, despite that distance is stay close to Allison and their children. The kids especially will cherish the memories/stories of your friendship with Larry.
Thank you, Pam!
This is such a moving piece of writing. I’m so sorry for your loss. His and your laughter still ring through this to my ears, though, to the backdrop of Peter Gabriel and Solsbury Hill. A beautiful piece 🌹
Thank you very much, Michelle! ❤️
I am sorry for your loss. What a wonderful tribute. I am so sorry this happened to Larry. He sounded like the type of person we need more of in the world. Much love to you, his wife, and his children.
The story of the man with the phone at the wedding made me laugh and think wistfully of my friend Emily. Emily died at 40 from breast cancer. At her funeral, all of us were weeping after a particularly moving hymn, when a very loud cell phone with the ring tone of an old fashioned phone started going off. As it continued to peal, we all looked around. Why wasn't the person silencing their phone? Someone cracked, "Pick up, it's Emily calling!" and we all began to laugh. The phone continued to ring, and at long last, a very old man stood up and shuffled out of the pew. His back was bowed. He might have had a cane. As he slowly (oh so slowly) made his way toward the back of the church, he finally picked up the call and very loudly yelled into his phone nearly the same thing as Larry's wedding guest: "I CAN'T TALK! I'M AT A FUNERAL!" I did not notice if he was wearing a silk trout tie. :) It is funny how these random and absurd moments serve as comic relief when we are grieving.
That's a great story, Christine! I'm sure he had a silk trout tie. But seriously, thanks for your support. ❤️
A moving tribute. What wonderful memories. I can relate to your guilt for moving to another country. I’m on the opposite coast of my family and that 3000 miles can feel quite significant when the health of someone you love is failing. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks, Renee. It’s true that many Americans move further away from their families and friends without leaving the US than a lot of Europeans who change countries do. We’re all in the same boat crossing the ocean.
This brought tears to my eyes, Gregory. I remember you telling me about Larry, and this tribute is beautiful and so moving.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you, L.
“But this is certainly one of the hardest things about moving to another country—the feeling of neglecting those we love.” - same here.
Oh my god, what devastating news. I remember hanging out with you and Larry at your house, once I was old enough to drive over there. Though I certainly did not know him nearly as well as you did, I remember his wonderful sense of humor, and he always struck me as a genuinely good person. May he rest in peace.
Thanks, Alex. I appreciate it. I was tempted to include a picture of the two of you, but I didn't want to do that to you. :)
I am deeply sorry for your loss. Your memories of him in this tribute with Gabriel’s Solsbury Hill as connective tissue is deeply touching.
Thank you, Maria. ❤️