Excelllent essay, it’s fascinating how driving culture varies from country to country, and can vary within a country, as it varies regionally in America, and with city drivers being more aggressive than rural drivers, and city driving being more stressful than rural driving. From an American perspective, those parking photos were hilarious, and each parker would’ve received a hefty ticket, at least in Massachusetts. Are people not ticketed for parking that way?
I feel so seen. The driving here has been possibly the most difficult aspect of Portuguese life to get used to. The recklessness, the fact that everyone drives 20 under or 50 over the speed limit at all times, the way motorcycles weave around cars at high speeds, how lanes are mere suggestions and the drifting is wild (ESPECIALLY on a narrow country road when they’re approaching you), and the right to park literally anywhere (your image made me laugh out loud)…we just can’t seem to aclimate to the roads and are always on high alert. Driving is no longer relaxing or enjoyable.
THE ONE LAW they can’t stand to see broken is going down a one-way street in the wrong direction. They will honk, flash their lights, wave wildly, lean out their window and holler at you like you’re about to drive over their grandmother - even if the two cars in front of them are already honking and hollering at you - and even if the road is very wide and you only drove ten feet before correcting your mistake. The righteous anger over this one violation is amazing to witness and almost worth doing just to see.
Thanks for this post, Gregory. It felt therapeutic.
I'm so glad that you found some relief in this essay! Yes, it's not just you, and yes, they ARE out to get you! 😆 You aren't the only person to point to driving as one of the most unpleasant things about living in Portgual (though if you say driving is _no longer_ relaxing or enjoyable, I'm guessing you're not from Boston!).
The issue you raise about one-way streets is a very interesting one. Here is my take on it: The Portuguese are not rule-followers, but to some extent, they do have a self-preservation instinct. I think that for them, the bare minimum of road safety is achieved by going down the street _in the right direction_. Also, most people here pride themselves on their local knowledge, so when they see someone going the wrong way down the street, they probably assume that it's a tourist who is becoming a hazard to themself and everyone else, so they try to warn them. And let's not forget something I've mentioned in other posts—that the Portuguese are actually very helpful, so maybe that is also part of the equation when they tell you you're going down the street in the wrong direction.
As an American living in Lisbon I completely agree with this take. We are on a main thoroughfare and people just stop in the street and put their blinkers on while they go to a cafe or whatever. Really fun when there’s enough of them ‘parked’ in both directions this way such that the busses can’t get through and oh the honking that commences!
I think it’s surprising too how much of a driving culture it is here, given usually you think of big cities as being more for walkers and transit takers. A Portuguese person told me that it’s because Portugal was such a poor country for so long that having your own car and driving is a big status thing.
As someone who has driven in Italy a couple of times (never in the big cities - I'm not insane), I have actually been surprised that it wasn't *as bad* as I expected. It is true, though, what they say about Italian speed limits - they are only a suggestion (for Italians). I was very startled the first time a car sped up behind me as I was changing lanes and started flashing their lights at me, basically saying move the hell over. Apparently it is the car version of the pervasive Italian hand gestures you see in everyday conversation.
Once, in Puglia, while driving back on the highway to the smaller city Lecce at midnight after a four hour eating fest in the courtyard of a 500 year old olive orchard, I came upon a stand still traffic jam. While we sat waiting, I started to see the Italians put their cars in park, get out and begin socializing with each other. Some even pulled food and drink out of the their cars. It was so startling that I burst out laughing. I also looked at my passengers and said, "Well, when in Rome," and we also got out. Of course, just our luck, it was within 30 seconds of doing so that I saw brake lights and everyone ran to their cars. Needless to say, I have never experienced anything like that here in New York.
What a great story, Tim! I like the attitude, “Let’s make the best of it.”
And as for Italian speed limits, I have rarely seen less verisimilitude anywhere. I have seen Italians drive 70 where it says 40, and then go up to 90 when it goes up to 50. I have even come to wonder whether it’s not a power struggle, or a kind of haggling, in which the traffic authorities actually post a lower speed than is reasonable, knowing that the drivers will go roughly double what it says.
Hubby still chooses restaurants in Portugal by whether they have parking Although, he has gotten into the Portuguese mindset of creating one's own parking spot - he "made" one near a favorite place and now gets upset when someone else uses it!
Thanks, Michael! I am glad that someone else has a juvenile sense of humor (middle-school, I'm told). And I can imagine that the Italian parking gets as creative as the Portuguese. Maybe we should organize a Great Southern European Park-Off? ("Three days of non-stop parking!" 😂)
And yes, I pulled a fast one with the ending of the piece. I wanted to remind people that bad driving can be funny, until someone loses their life. Then it's no longer funny.
I thought driving in Portugal and Spain was very easy, but I live in Istanbul. There are varying levels of insanity I guess. Driving in Italy still frightens me.
Absolutely. Portugal is only bad in comparison to other European countries, not Turkey, Egypt, or what-have-you. And I think that being frightened when driving in Italy is the right approach—it will keep you alive.
Thanks, Michael! And I can only imagine what traveling by road in Nepal is like. I mean, when you fly, you bypass both the mountains _and_ the people. But on the road, you have to deal with both!
I returned to the U.S. from a wonderful trip to France, and was hit by a car five months later. Actually, I was hit or almost hit four times in the months prior to that last, bad one, and that one occurred on the sidewalk, about ten feet/three meters from the street. (I lived, which is not true for five others hit about the same time in that city). I did make it to Italy a year and a half later, and overall, the driving didn't scare me - and having a prosthesis scared away the children swarming others for money. There's the silver lining? (Overall, my life has only gotten better since that accident; I call my prosthesis a jerk filter as shallow people leave me alone and I'm now with a wonderful man).
My goodness, what a story. I'm so sorry that traffic accidents have played such a prominent role in your life. But I'm glad that there are (multiple?) silver linings.
I'm in France. I'm developing bumper stickers: "If you can read this, CONGRATULATIONS: you're bilingual. Now please get off my tail!" or words to that effect.
😱 Please don't show it to her! Just make sure you wear seat belts and drive defensively. Better yet: I'll take you around in my car as much as possible. Looking forward to your visit! ❤️
Excelllent essay, it’s fascinating how driving culture varies from country to country, and can vary within a country, as it varies regionally in America, and with city drivers being more aggressive than rural drivers, and city driving being more stressful than rural driving. From an American perspective, those parking photos were hilarious, and each parker would’ve received a hefty ticket, at least in Massachusetts. Are people not ticketed for parking that way?
I feel so seen. The driving here has been possibly the most difficult aspect of Portuguese life to get used to. The recklessness, the fact that everyone drives 20 under or 50 over the speed limit at all times, the way motorcycles weave around cars at high speeds, how lanes are mere suggestions and the drifting is wild (ESPECIALLY on a narrow country road when they’re approaching you), and the right to park literally anywhere (your image made me laugh out loud)…we just can’t seem to aclimate to the roads and are always on high alert. Driving is no longer relaxing or enjoyable.
THE ONE LAW they can’t stand to see broken is going down a one-way street in the wrong direction. They will honk, flash their lights, wave wildly, lean out their window and holler at you like you’re about to drive over their grandmother - even if the two cars in front of them are already honking and hollering at you - and even if the road is very wide and you only drove ten feet before correcting your mistake. The righteous anger over this one violation is amazing to witness and almost worth doing just to see.
Thanks for this post, Gregory. It felt therapeutic.
I'm so glad that you found some relief in this essay! Yes, it's not just you, and yes, they ARE out to get you! 😆 You aren't the only person to point to driving as one of the most unpleasant things about living in Portgual (though if you say driving is _no longer_ relaxing or enjoyable, I'm guessing you're not from Boston!).
The issue you raise about one-way streets is a very interesting one. Here is my take on it: The Portuguese are not rule-followers, but to some extent, they do have a self-preservation instinct. I think that for them, the bare minimum of road safety is achieved by going down the street _in the right direction_. Also, most people here pride themselves on their local knowledge, so when they see someone going the wrong way down the street, they probably assume that it's a tourist who is becoming a hazard to themself and everyone else, so they try to warn them. And let's not forget something I've mentioned in other posts—that the Portuguese are actually very helpful, so maybe that is also part of the equation when they tell you you're going down the street in the wrong direction.
I've been calling it "creative parking". Another great piece, read with a smile on my face and nodding the whole way through.
Thank you so much! Sometimes you have to laugh so as not to cry, right?
My parents visited me in Mexico City a few years ago and I told them "Red lights are just a suggestion here." Lol.
Absolutely!
As an American living in Lisbon I completely agree with this take. We are on a main thoroughfare and people just stop in the street and put their blinkers on while they go to a cafe or whatever. Really fun when there’s enough of them ‘parked’ in both directions this way such that the busses can’t get through and oh the honking that commences!
I think it’s surprising too how much of a driving culture it is here, given usually you think of big cities as being more for walkers and transit takers. A Portuguese person told me that it’s because Portugal was such a poor country for so long that having your own car and driving is a big status thing.
As someone who has driven in Italy a couple of times (never in the big cities - I'm not insane), I have actually been surprised that it wasn't *as bad* as I expected. It is true, though, what they say about Italian speed limits - they are only a suggestion (for Italians). I was very startled the first time a car sped up behind me as I was changing lanes and started flashing their lights at me, basically saying move the hell over. Apparently it is the car version of the pervasive Italian hand gestures you see in everyday conversation.
Once, in Puglia, while driving back on the highway to the smaller city Lecce at midnight after a four hour eating fest in the courtyard of a 500 year old olive orchard, I came upon a stand still traffic jam. While we sat waiting, I started to see the Italians put their cars in park, get out and begin socializing with each other. Some even pulled food and drink out of the their cars. It was so startling that I burst out laughing. I also looked at my passengers and said, "Well, when in Rome," and we also got out. Of course, just our luck, it was within 30 seconds of doing so that I saw brake lights and everyone ran to their cars. Needless to say, I have never experienced anything like that here in New York.
What a great story, Tim! I like the attitude, “Let’s make the best of it.”
And as for Italian speed limits, I have rarely seen less verisimilitude anywhere. I have seen Italians drive 70 where it says 40, and then go up to 90 when it goes up to 50. I have even come to wonder whether it’s not a power struggle, or a kind of haggling, in which the traffic authorities actually post a lower speed than is reasonable, knowing that the drivers will go roughly double what it says.
Hubby still chooses restaurants in Portugal by whether they have parking Although, he has gotten into the Portuguese mindset of creating one's own parking spot - he "made" one near a favorite place and now gets upset when someone else uses it!
Sounds like you guys are assimilating well!
Em Portugal, conduzir é como estar num jogo de vídeo.
Pois é, exceto que o risco é maior. 😕
É verdad!
First off, that joke made me laugh. Second, I've got pictures of Italian parking that just wow... Lastly, what a sad story at the end.
Thanks, Michael! I am glad that someone else has a juvenile sense of humor (middle-school, I'm told). And I can imagine that the Italian parking gets as creative as the Portuguese. Maybe we should organize a Great Southern European Park-Off? ("Three days of non-stop parking!" 😂)
And yes, I pulled a fast one with the ending of the piece. I wanted to remind people that bad driving can be funny, until someone loses their life. Then it's no longer funny.
I thought drivers were the most insane in Italy too. Who knew?
New slogan: The Portuguese: Making the Italians Look Sane Since the Middle Ages.
I thought driving in Portugal and Spain was very easy, but I live in Istanbul. There are varying levels of insanity I guess. Driving in Italy still frightens me.
Absolutely. Portugal is only bad in comparison to other European countries, not Turkey, Egypt, or what-have-you. And I think that being frightened when driving in Italy is the right approach—it will keep you alive.
“The French Swipe” 😆 And on a serious note, your anecdote at the end, Gregory… Wow. I’m glad you could be there for him.
Your post makes me think of something a professional paraglider told me in Nepal:
“People think flying above the Himalayas is exciting,” he said. “But the real adventure here is traveling on the roads.” I’m afraid I agree 🙈
Thanks, Michael! And I can only imagine what traveling by road in Nepal is like. I mean, when you fly, you bypass both the mountains _and_ the people. But on the road, you have to deal with both!
There’s no shortage of adrenaline on the road, that’s for sure! 😆
Headline made my inner middle schooler snort milk out her nose….
I am very gratified that someone has correctly identified the grade level of my sense of humor! I hope it wasn't chocolate milk.
Fie upon chocolate milk! And I think we’re all middle schoolers at heart.
I would come up with a clever comeback to this, but I'm way too awkward and self-conscious, so I'll just go and play a video game instead.
I returned to the U.S. from a wonderful trip to France, and was hit by a car five months later. Actually, I was hit or almost hit four times in the months prior to that last, bad one, and that one occurred on the sidewalk, about ten feet/three meters from the street. (I lived, which is not true for five others hit about the same time in that city). I did make it to Italy a year and a half later, and overall, the driving didn't scare me - and having a prosthesis scared away the children swarming others for money. There's the silver lining? (Overall, my life has only gotten better since that accident; I call my prosthesis a jerk filter as shallow people leave me alone and I'm now with a wonderful man).
My goodness, what a story. I'm so sorry that traffic accidents have played such a prominent role in your life. But I'm glad that there are (multiple?) silver linings.
I'm in France. I'm developing bumper stickers: "If you can read this, CONGRATULATIONS: you're bilingual. Now please get off my tail!" or words to that effect.
That's funny. But you know they don't really have bumper stickers in Europe, right?
I think I won’t share this with Kim. We’ve rented a car… See you soon! (Atticus is there now… jet lagged but happy with his friend from film school)
😱 Please don't show it to her! Just make sure you wear seat belts and drive defensively. Better yet: I'll take you around in my car as much as possible. Looking forward to your visit! ❤️
Alas, she'll see the truth soon enough. Love those parking pics! See you soon!