I just stumbled upon this this looking for the other posts we discussed in our chat... 😂
As to exes, I am still friends – or at least "social media amicable" – with most except my ex-husband – but he did find me after 20 years of no contact on social media and apologized for his behavior.
It's nice to have another comment here from an Elizabeth. 😊 I'm glad that you're able to buck the trend and stay on good terms with your exes. And how nice that your ex-husband called to apologize! I hope that provoked feelings that were mostly positive and not too complicated.
Great stuff, Gregory, and fascinating how one name can have it all. I've always liked the name Elizabeth and the Ukrainian version, Yelizaveta, is lovely.
My only romantic experience with an Elizabeth didn't go so well!
It's funny, but over the summer I had an idea to write a book or at least a chapter or part of a book related to all of the Anastasiia's in my life - there have been around 7 or 8, but no major romance involved. I saw a book, I forget the author, called An Abundance of Katherines - I wonder if this is a similar idea?
As for being friends with exes, I'm all for it, but as we discussed in a different post's comments, the one girlfriend from over 20 years ago (who's mentioned once or twice in my book, btw) doesn't believe in it, but I'll take your advice on board and give it another shot one of these days.
Thanks, Daniel! Yes, it's weird how things tend to come in clusters (with all the connotations that can bring). I like Yelizaveta, but have never met anyone with that name. Yet...
I will look for An Abundance of Katherines. I wonder if there is a special term for a group of Elizabeths? A gaggle? A murder? (I hope not murder.)
As for your ex, obviously it takes two to have a relationship, and you will ultimately have to respect her wishes, but maybe her perspective has changed over the years. She might be open to having a friendship if you make it clear that's all it is. (Being recently divorced puts you in a tricky position, unfortunately.) The worst thing that can happen is that you write to her and she doesn't reply. Assuming you don't owe her money, that is. Anyway, hang in there, bro, and happy holidays!
Let me preface this with I don't have an answer to your Elizabeth problem. I'm one of those "everything happens for a reason" people -- and if things keep happening then there's something you need to notice...
It is said if you can be friends with your ex, then either you're still in love with them, or you never were. I don't know if I believe that. It sounds good though.
Someone else once said trying to go back to a past relationship, expecting it to be different - is like putting spoiled milk back in the fridge expecting it to be fresh the next time you take it out.
Your Elizabeth issue, for me, is "Richards". Growing up I had two friends/neighbors on the block named "Rich & Richie"... I think it's the Long Island version of Staten Island naming everybody "Joe" (it's a New York thing).
I won't go into the drama and teen angst, but suffice it to say there's history there --that lasts until I'm 25 -- when we all stop talking to each other. The odd thing is I got married to a nice guy named... Rich (from Brooklyn, not Long Island). The universe works in mysterious ways.
Thanks, Renee! I'm not sure I have a response to all the platitudes, but I will say that one thing I never do is go back to an old relationship. I definitely believe in moving forward, but I don't think that has to mean flushing all of the people out of your life.
In your case, it sounds like you've had a life that was "rich in drama". 😉 The universe definitely does work in mysterious ways!
I 100% agree - sometimes failed "love" relationships are better as loving friendships. I have a few ex's that prove that. None of them named Elizabeth... but you never know what the new year will bring ;)
Quite funny piece. I have a cousin named Elizabeth (she goes by Beth), maybe I could introduce you. She's currently married, but we never know... :-)
I tend to try to keep in good terms with my exes. Up to sometime ago, I could say that I was in good terms with all my exes, since I tend to have long relationships and I could count them on the fingers of my two hands. Not true anymore. Due to (believe it or not) political reasons, I stopped speaking to my first ex (16 to 20). If I see him, I might say hello, but no more e-mails (he is a diplomat and we used to write each other from time to time).
Thank you, Renata! I’m glad to hear that you too have been able to stay on good terms with exes. I am not surprised about the political reasons either. I assume that the context is Brazil, which is a bit like the USA in terms of how infected politics has become, it appears.
Probably best not to introduce me to your cousin, though. It’s safest that way, no? 😉
Don’t I know it! (About both things) You are talking to a serious Discovery person here, so I definitely don’t always choose the safer way. (Not that I am suggesting you introduce me to your cousin, though! 😜)
OK, let’s keep things on the safe side for now. If ever you change your mind, just let me know. Happy holidays, Gregory! (by the way, if I hadn’t come across your name comment, I would for sure go for Greg, because from here it looks like all Americans go by nicknames!).
Sounds good. But I can assure you that there are many Americans who don’t go by nicknames. I have known lots of people called Stephen, Michael, Richard, Andrew, Susanna, Rebecca, Samantha, and of course, Elizabeth. The key is to notice how they introduce themselves!
Well, maybe you’re unconsciously still trying to find that feeling you felt long ago: ‘Someone I went after in college but who rejected me, named Elizabeth but going by Liz.’ 😁
Ha! You mean, all of this is an attempt to recapture that one girl who got away? I like it, but it sadly fails to fit the facts: I had already dated an Elizabeth before that point, and I didn't really like that girl so much anyway. (He says now. 😉)
Hm, there are a striking number of responses here from Elizabeths.
I know what you mean about the “North American ex” syndrome. I was always quite fond of my exes, something not all of them could deal with. After I resettled in Europe, I can honestly say that all my ex-lovers are still among my friends.
Gregory, I don’t know if this is adding unnecessary fuel to the fire, but… next week is time for the annual triple date that boggles most people’s minds. My husband and I will be on the obligatory visit to his family in Germany, the highlight of which is a night out with his ex (the one really, really serious relationship before me). She and I have a lot in common: strong-willed women making their way as cultural outsiders, sense of humor, etc. He refers to us as the two smartest women he has ever known. We have a great time talking about god and the world for one long afternoon and evening. My second name is Elizabeth, and her name is Isabel. Make of that what you will.
Caroline, I love this! I am glad that I'm not alone in perceiving this cultural difference. And I think your triple date sounds great! I have done similar things many times with different combinations of people. Last year, Liza and I, touring around Sweden, actually went to visit one of my exes, and even stayed with her mother! This naturally blows people's minds. But Liza was a champ about it, and I got to see some people that I really love. I'm glad that you are similarly open-minded.
If you've had kids together, there's always commonality, a connection you can't really escape from. I've never had them, so my relationships have been terminated, the connection ended. I don't see much point in retaining a relationship that ended mutually or otherwise with an ex, when it's over, it's over. Move on.
Yes, Linda, it's true that children create a permanent bond. I didn't write about that, since it's not part of my experience either. As for whether to cut ties, I'm sure you're in the majority here, and I'm the strange one. I guess it ultimately depends on what your view is of romantic relationships. I tend to see them somewhat like friendships with benefits, so that when the benefits are cut off, there is still a possibility of the friendship remaining. But it's not always easy to make work.
Well, I do call you "Greg" now and again. I think I know you ~somewhat~ well—although it's true that I didn't properly know your name during the formative stage of our friendship.
I have a similar "problem," albeit on a smaller scale that aligns roughly with the smaller scale of my relationship history. The first woman I dated in college was named Alice, and my next relationship was with a woman named Alisa. What makes it moderately interesting is that when I was about 5 years old, I had a whole imaginary family (including a son whom I inexplicably named Natural). My imaginary wife's name? Alice, of course.
Mike, you are pretty much my only friend who calls me “Greg” sometimes, and while it annoys me, we have been friends for so long and I like you so much that I let it go. See, I can be laid back!
I like your Alice story. I had heard that but forgotten it. In a way, it’s more interesting than my Elizabeth story, since there is the possibility that there is something psychological behind it. Hard to know what is a coincidence and what isn’t…
Well! It's a fine name with so many variations that you may not have exhausted all possibilities yet. It travels well through multiple cultures and languages. Perhaps as a linguist, you seek and appreciate this quality.
On remaining friends with an ex-, if she likes and gets along very well with the non-ex, that seems like the ticket. That's what I've experienced anyway and it's lovely!
Somewhat related, I remain puzzled about the American concept of dating. In the international situation I was in early on, we had a group of friends. Within that group, if we liked someone and that person liked us, then we became a couple. It was straight-forward (and saved a lot of money!). Many years later, this is how I met my husband -- and his middle name had been travelling with me for many years with others. So, you're not alone, although his middle name is not Elizabeth!
Thanks for your comment, Betsy! Yes, Elizabeth is a fine name, and I guess I haven't exhausted the possibilities yet. We will see if the story continues...
As for dating, I see "dating" as essentially a modern invention. I think that what you describe is the way it used to be: people had small communities, and people simply coupled and uncoupled within them. But now that we live surrounded by millions of people and have sophisticated ways to choose among them, "dating" has been born.
A piece of linguistic evidence that dating is (a) new, and (b) mostly an American invention, comes from a recent conversation I had with some Portuguese friends. I asked them about the vocabulary for dating in Portuguese. They looked at each other and said, "We really have no word for dating in Portuguese. We use the English word. The whole concept is still slightly foreign, or at least new, here." So perhaps we can add dating to the long list of American cultural exports.
This is an interesting newsletter. Lot of truth in it for sure. For me I tried to distance myself from my exes to give them space and respect as they got over the breakup and moved on. The exes I have stayed friends with have been great, but it always feels like there's lingering feelings between us that doesn't make the friendship feel as pure as it should be. IDK, for me personally I've found that most of the time with me exes I try to give them and myself space to move on. It's hard when you invest so much time in someone and then it goes nowhere. It's difficult for me to forget the past and all those feelings. But for other people that can maintain friendships, that's awesome. I envy you for sure.
Thanks for sharing this, Thomas. I have also been there, and have given lots of exes space to regroup and move on. But I have found that over the years, it gets easier and easier to move on, and thus easier to stay friends. I think this may be linked to slowly developing in wisdom, getting over some of the simplistic beliefs about relationships that I grew up with, and learning through hard-won experience that you get over things.
Also, now that I think about it, I rarely feel regret. I just accept everything I’ve done, whether brilliant or idiotic, and continue moving forward. That may be the secret.
I totally agree that you can be friends with your ex. After all why shouldn’t you be able to assuming that the core of friendship is still in tact. The tricky part is regarding chemistry - how do you navigate that if you no longer want to be together and yet there is still a chemistry. I also agree Europeans navigate this far more maturely than Americans.
Thank you, Maureen! I agree with you—the core of the friendship should be able to survive. The question of chemistry is an interesting one. At the risk of making this post even more unpopular than it already is, I would suggest that there is actually nothing wrong with chemistry, if you can control yourselves. Flirtation is actually quite common among people who aren't in a relationship, and some argue that it can be a very positive thing for everyone's self-esteem. If you can manage yourself in situations like that, why not in situations with someone you used to be with?
Funny reflection on names and dating. It seems that there is a potential correlation between someone’s name and our perception of them. Do you know about these types of analyses https://allsorter.com/blog/ceo-names-study ?
According to Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov, it takes is a tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger from their face, and longer exposure doesn’t significantly alter this impressions (although they might boost our confidence in our judgments). So, with that in mind, your liking of Elisabeths might be a coincidence.
Wow, very interesting perspective, Elise! (I am guessing your surname is also pronounced the French way, as in "forzhay", rather than "forget"?) I didn't know about the CEO name study, but from a cursory glance, I'm not sure I agree with their methodology. I'll look it over more carefully.
What is the relationship between impressions created by someone's face, and impressions created by someone's name? I may have missed that.
I also have to say that I love it when I write a personal post and people help me connect it to research! 👏
The connection is that they suggest opposite conclusions. The first implies that we have a preference for some names subconsciously while the second implies that our judgment is made so fast as to render any additional information irrelevant.
So, while the first study doesn’t seem to analyse the number of David’s (for example) in the potential population sample (although I haven’t looked at the methodology). And, assuming that most CEOs today were born in the 60s, it’s easy to see that unless they accounted for that, there might be a problem ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_most_popular_names_in_the_1960s_in_the_United_States).
Anyway, all this to say that I’m not sure that your predilection for Elisabeths is easy to figure out as you pointed out.
Another line of inquiry could be favourite books’ heroine, considering your love of literature? 😀
Right. I really think the CEO study is problematic; the prevalence of names like David is an epiphenomenon that derives from (a) the overwhelming tendency for CEOs to be male, and (b) the relatively small number of common names for men (compared to women). I'm not sure why they are even talking about names; the problem is sexism.
As for the face-impression study, you're suggesting that before we even learn someone's name, we will have decided whether we like them, right? So if I see an attractive woman and then learn that her name is Ragnhild (assuming I dislike that name), that fact won't affect my attraction. An interesting idea!
I like the literature angle, too. I will have to think about that. For it to have any explanatory power, though, I would have to look only at books I read before my Elizabethan age started. Hmmm...
I just stumbled upon this this looking for the other posts we discussed in our chat... 😂
As to exes, I am still friends – or at least "social media amicable" – with most except my ex-husband – but he did find me after 20 years of no contact on social media and apologized for his behavior.
It's nice to have another comment here from an Elizabeth. 😊 I'm glad that you're able to buck the trend and stay on good terms with your exes. And how nice that your ex-husband called to apologize! I hope that provoked feelings that were mostly positive and not too complicated.
My first reaction was shock – but I think he did the right thing and it brought closure that I didn't realize I wanted or needed until it happened.
P.S. I am an Elizabeth or Beth, but never Liz! 😂
My sister is named Elizabeth. 🙂❤️
Great stuff, Gregory, and fascinating how one name can have it all. I've always liked the name Elizabeth and the Ukrainian version, Yelizaveta, is lovely.
My only romantic experience with an Elizabeth didn't go so well!
It's funny, but over the summer I had an idea to write a book or at least a chapter or part of a book related to all of the Anastasiia's in my life - there have been around 7 or 8, but no major romance involved. I saw a book, I forget the author, called An Abundance of Katherines - I wonder if this is a similar idea?
As for being friends with exes, I'm all for it, but as we discussed in a different post's comments, the one girlfriend from over 20 years ago (who's mentioned once or twice in my book, btw) doesn't believe in it, but I'll take your advice on board and give it another shot one of these days.
Thanks, Daniel! Yes, it's weird how things tend to come in clusters (with all the connotations that can bring). I like Yelizaveta, but have never met anyone with that name. Yet...
I will look for An Abundance of Katherines. I wonder if there is a special term for a group of Elizabeths? A gaggle? A murder? (I hope not murder.)
As for your ex, obviously it takes two to have a relationship, and you will ultimately have to respect her wishes, but maybe her perspective has changed over the years. She might be open to having a friendship if you make it clear that's all it is. (Being recently divorced puts you in a tricky position, unfortunately.) The worst thing that can happen is that you write to her and she doesn't reply. Assuming you don't owe her money, that is. Anyway, hang in there, bro, and happy holidays!
Let me preface this with I don't have an answer to your Elizabeth problem. I'm one of those "everything happens for a reason" people -- and if things keep happening then there's something you need to notice...
It is said if you can be friends with your ex, then either you're still in love with them, or you never were. I don't know if I believe that. It sounds good though.
Someone else once said trying to go back to a past relationship, expecting it to be different - is like putting spoiled milk back in the fridge expecting it to be fresh the next time you take it out.
Your Elizabeth issue, for me, is "Richards". Growing up I had two friends/neighbors on the block named "Rich & Richie"... I think it's the Long Island version of Staten Island naming everybody "Joe" (it's a New York thing).
I won't go into the drama and teen angst, but suffice it to say there's history there --that lasts until I'm 25 -- when we all stop talking to each other. The odd thing is I got married to a nice guy named... Rich (from Brooklyn, not Long Island). The universe works in mysterious ways.
Thanks, Renee! I'm not sure I have a response to all the platitudes, but I will say that one thing I never do is go back to an old relationship. I definitely believe in moving forward, but I don't think that has to mean flushing all of the people out of your life.
In your case, it sounds like you've had a life that was "rich in drama". 😉 The universe definitely does work in mysterious ways!
I 100% agree - sometimes failed "love" relationships are better as loving friendships. I have a few ex's that prove that. None of them named Elizabeth... but you never know what the new year will bring ;)
Quite funny piece. I have a cousin named Elizabeth (she goes by Beth), maybe I could introduce you. She's currently married, but we never know... :-)
I tend to try to keep in good terms with my exes. Up to sometime ago, I could say that I was in good terms with all my exes, since I tend to have long relationships and I could count them on the fingers of my two hands. Not true anymore. Due to (believe it or not) political reasons, I stopped speaking to my first ex (16 to 20). If I see him, I might say hello, but no more e-mails (he is a diplomat and we used to write each other from time to time).
I think it's quite healthy. If you can manage it.
Thank you, Renata! I’m glad to hear that you too have been able to stay on good terms with exes. I am not surprised about the political reasons either. I assume that the context is Brazil, which is a bit like the USA in terms of how infected politics has become, it appears.
Probably best not to introduce me to your cousin, though. It’s safest that way, no? 😉
the safest way is not always the better way. :-D
and yes, the context is Brazil... we share some common challenges in politics with USA.
Don’t I know it! (About both things) You are talking to a serious Discovery person here, so I definitely don’t always choose the safer way. (Not that I am suggesting you introduce me to your cousin, though! 😜)
OK, let’s keep things on the safe side for now. If ever you change your mind, just let me know. Happy holidays, Gregory! (by the way, if I hadn’t come across your name comment, I would for sure go for Greg, because from here it looks like all Americans go by nicknames!).
Sounds good. But I can assure you that there are many Americans who don’t go by nicknames. I have known lots of people called Stephen, Michael, Richard, Andrew, Susanna, Rebecca, Samantha, and of course, Elizabeth. The key is to notice how they introduce themselves!
Boas festas, Renata!
Well, maybe you’re unconsciously still trying to find that feeling you felt long ago: ‘Someone I went after in college but who rejected me, named Elizabeth but going by Liz.’ 😁
Ha! You mean, all of this is an attempt to recapture that one girl who got away? I like it, but it sadly fails to fit the facts: I had already dated an Elizabeth before that point, and I didn't really like that girl so much anyway. (He says now. 😉)
Great read. The only rule-book that applies is the one you write together with the important people in your life. ❤️
Thank you for that, Michael! It’s great to get encouragement from other people who are happy to find their own path. ❤️
Hm, there are a striking number of responses here from Elizabeths.
I know what you mean about the “North American ex” syndrome. I was always quite fond of my exes, something not all of them could deal with. After I resettled in Europe, I can honestly say that all my ex-lovers are still among my friends.
Gregory, I don’t know if this is adding unnecessary fuel to the fire, but… next week is time for the annual triple date that boggles most people’s minds. My husband and I will be on the obligatory visit to his family in Germany, the highlight of which is a night out with his ex (the one really, really serious relationship before me). She and I have a lot in common: strong-willed women making their way as cultural outsiders, sense of humor, etc. He refers to us as the two smartest women he has ever known. We have a great time talking about god and the world for one long afternoon and evening. My second name is Elizabeth, and her name is Isabel. Make of that what you will.
Caroline, I love this! I am glad that I'm not alone in perceiving this cultural difference. And I think your triple date sounds great! I have done similar things many times with different combinations of people. Last year, Liza and I, touring around Sweden, actually went to visit one of my exes, and even stayed with her mother! This naturally blows people's minds. But Liza was a champ about it, and I got to see some people that I really love. I'm glad that you are similarly open-minded.
Great piece, dear Gregory! Love, Elizabeth
Thanks! You know I do!
Gay men have always been pretty good about staying in touch with exes.
That is a good point, Michael! I would love to understand better what makes that work.
Man, that could be an hours-long conversation!
OK, next time we see each other, then!
If you've had kids together, there's always commonality, a connection you can't really escape from. I've never had them, so my relationships have been terminated, the connection ended. I don't see much point in retaining a relationship that ended mutually or otherwise with an ex, when it's over, it's over. Move on.
Yes, Linda, it's true that children create a permanent bond. I didn't write about that, since it's not part of my experience either. As for whether to cut ties, I'm sure you're in the majority here, and I'm the strange one. I guess it ultimately depends on what your view is of romantic relationships. I tend to see them somewhat like friendships with benefits, so that when the benefits are cut off, there is still a possibility of the friendship remaining. But it's not always easy to make work.
Well, I do call you "Greg" now and again. I think I know you ~somewhat~ well—although it's true that I didn't properly know your name during the formative stage of our friendship.
I have a similar "problem," albeit on a smaller scale that aligns roughly with the smaller scale of my relationship history. The first woman I dated in college was named Alice, and my next relationship was with a woman named Alisa. What makes it moderately interesting is that when I was about 5 years old, I had a whole imaginary family (including a son whom I inexplicably named Natural). My imaginary wife's name? Alice, of course.
Mike, you are pretty much my only friend who calls me “Greg” sometimes, and while it annoys me, we have been friends for so long and I like you so much that I let it go. See, I can be laid back!
I like your Alice story. I had heard that but forgotten it. In a way, it’s more interesting than my Elizabeth story, since there is the possibility that there is something psychological behind it. Hard to know what is a coincidence and what isn’t…
Well! It's a fine name with so many variations that you may not have exhausted all possibilities yet. It travels well through multiple cultures and languages. Perhaps as a linguist, you seek and appreciate this quality.
On remaining friends with an ex-, if she likes and gets along very well with the non-ex, that seems like the ticket. That's what I've experienced anyway and it's lovely!
Somewhat related, I remain puzzled about the American concept of dating. In the international situation I was in early on, we had a group of friends. Within that group, if we liked someone and that person liked us, then we became a couple. It was straight-forward (and saved a lot of money!). Many years later, this is how I met my husband -- and his middle name had been travelling with me for many years with others. So, you're not alone, although his middle name is not Elizabeth!
Thanks for your comment, Betsy! Yes, Elizabeth is a fine name, and I guess I haven't exhausted the possibilities yet. We will see if the story continues...
As for dating, I see "dating" as essentially a modern invention. I think that what you describe is the way it used to be: people had small communities, and people simply coupled and uncoupled within them. But now that we live surrounded by millions of people and have sophisticated ways to choose among them, "dating" has been born.
A piece of linguistic evidence that dating is (a) new, and (b) mostly an American invention, comes from a recent conversation I had with some Portuguese friends. I asked them about the vocabulary for dating in Portuguese. They looked at each other and said, "We really have no word for dating in Portuguese. We use the English word. The whole concept is still slightly foreign, or at least new, here." So perhaps we can add dating to the long list of American cultural exports.
This is an interesting newsletter. Lot of truth in it for sure. For me I tried to distance myself from my exes to give them space and respect as they got over the breakup and moved on. The exes I have stayed friends with have been great, but it always feels like there's lingering feelings between us that doesn't make the friendship feel as pure as it should be. IDK, for me personally I've found that most of the time with me exes I try to give them and myself space to move on. It's hard when you invest so much time in someone and then it goes nowhere. It's difficult for me to forget the past and all those feelings. But for other people that can maintain friendships, that's awesome. I envy you for sure.
Thanks for sharing this, Thomas. I have also been there, and have given lots of exes space to regroup and move on. But I have found that over the years, it gets easier and easier to move on, and thus easier to stay friends. I think this may be linked to slowly developing in wisdom, getting over some of the simplistic beliefs about relationships that I grew up with, and learning through hard-won experience that you get over things.
Also, now that I think about it, I rarely feel regret. I just accept everything I’ve done, whether brilliant or idiotic, and continue moving forward. That may be the secret.
Thanks Gregory. You have a wonderful way of looking at the world. Learning a lot from reading you.
Thank you my friend!
I totally agree that you can be friends with your ex. After all why shouldn’t you be able to assuming that the core of friendship is still in tact. The tricky part is regarding chemistry - how do you navigate that if you no longer want to be together and yet there is still a chemistry. I also agree Europeans navigate this far more maturely than Americans.
Thank you, Maureen! I agree with you—the core of the friendship should be able to survive. The question of chemistry is an interesting one. At the risk of making this post even more unpopular than it already is, I would suggest that there is actually nothing wrong with chemistry, if you can control yourselves. Flirtation is actually quite common among people who aren't in a relationship, and some argue that it can be a very positive thing for everyone's self-esteem. If you can manage yourself in situations like that, why not in situations with someone you used to be with?
Excellent point!
Funny reflection on names and dating. It seems that there is a potential correlation between someone’s name and our perception of them. Do you know about these types of analyses https://allsorter.com/blog/ceo-names-study ?
According to Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov, it takes is a tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger from their face, and longer exposure doesn’t significantly alter this impressions (although they might boost our confidence in our judgments). So, with that in mind, your liking of Elisabeths might be a coincidence.
Confused? Me too.
Elise ( not pronounced Alize but é-lee-z) ☺️
Wow, very interesting perspective, Elise! (I am guessing your surname is also pronounced the French way, as in "forzhay", rather than "forget"?) I didn't know about the CEO name study, but from a cursory glance, I'm not sure I agree with their methodology. I'll look it over more carefully.
What is the relationship between impressions created by someone's face, and impressions created by someone's name? I may have missed that.
I also have to say that I love it when I write a personal post and people help me connect it to research! 👏
The connection is that they suggest opposite conclusions. The first implies that we have a preference for some names subconsciously while the second implies that our judgment is made so fast as to render any additional information irrelevant.
So, while the first study doesn’t seem to analyse the number of David’s (for example) in the potential population sample (although I haven’t looked at the methodology). And, assuming that most CEOs today were born in the 60s, it’s easy to see that unless they accounted for that, there might be a problem ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_most_popular_names_in_the_1960s_in_the_United_States).
Anyway, all this to say that I’m not sure that your predilection for Elisabeths is easy to figure out as you pointed out.
Another line of inquiry could be favourite books’ heroine, considering your love of literature? 😀
PS yes French pronunciation (For-j-ei)
Right. I really think the CEO study is problematic; the prevalence of names like David is an epiphenomenon that derives from (a) the overwhelming tendency for CEOs to be male, and (b) the relatively small number of common names for men (compared to women). I'm not sure why they are even talking about names; the problem is sexism.
As for the face-impression study, you're suggesting that before we even learn someone's name, we will have decided whether we like them, right? So if I see an attractive woman and then learn that her name is Ragnhild (assuming I dislike that name), that fact won't affect my attraction. An interesting idea!
I like the literature angle, too. I will have to think about that. For it to have any explanatory power, though, I would have to look only at books I read before my Elizabethan age started. Hmmm...