37 Comments
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Daniel Puzzo's avatar

This is hilarious, I was giggling throughout. Karen already hinted at whose dirty mind might be behind all this. Duolingo, you say?

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Would it work to say that I was channeling you?

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Daniel Puzzo's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Karen Gordon's avatar

this is very funny. your duolingo (or its user) has a dirty mind and clearly some deeper psychological issues that freud would have a field day with!

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thank you, Karen. It is clearly Duolingo, and not the user in question, who has a dirty mind and lots of Freudian issues. Certainly, without doubt.

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Karen Gordon's avatar

Obvi

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Lisa Cunningham DeLauney's avatar

This was familiar and funny. I use Duolingo for brushing up French, Japanese and Italian too, but my children swear by ChatGPT. Might not be as weird, though.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

I know other people (my age) who swear by ChatGPT. Whether it's weird or not, I can't say. But in my experience, AI brings with it plenty of weirdness.

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Michael Slind's avatar

Molto divertente ma non sicuro per il lavoro (h/t Google translation).

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Può darsi.

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Charlotte Kneidl's avatar

I recently suggested your Substack to a patient who is going to move to Spain. 🇪🇸 I told him he could learn some of the pitfalls from reading your essays. He’s a New Yorker who has a place in Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 so he knows some of the red tape. I’m not moving anywhere but I enjoy reading about your journey.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thank you, Charlotte! That's very nice of you. I hope your patient will take some inspiration from the things I've published here. There are also several good Substacks written by people in Spain that he might want to check out. Let me know if you need references.

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Lisa St. Lou's avatar

Aside from this being super adorable, looking at the #1000, I feel super inadequate. ;-) Fun "mashup"! xx

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thank you very much, Lisa! I'm glad somebody enjoyed it.

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Elizabeth Smith's avatar

This is great! 😂

My streak is 1724. 😳

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Wow! Well done, Elizabeth!

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Elizabeth Smith's avatar

Thank you!

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Andrea's avatar

I wish my Duolingo excersises were as entertaining as yours!

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Oh, trust me, Andrea, the original exercises aren't entertaining—they're dead boring. This is me desperately trying to make them into something entertaining!

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Andrea's avatar

Well I hope you do more! I'll have to give it a go!

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Claire Polders's avatar

I take Duolingo screenshots all the time! They tend to be hidden messages to inform my day.

Have you also noticed that the majority of names used are people in your life? I actually have a husband who’s name is Daniel and friends and family members named Ken, Kay, Naomi, and Hanna. Maybe I’m just destined to learn Japanese.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Interesting that those are the names they use. In Italian, they are called Lily, Eddie, Junior, Vikram, Priti, etc. Not names of anybody I know, for the most part! Maybe I'm destined not to learn Italian? 😳

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Claire Polders's avatar

These names stay the same—I have them, too. I was referring to the names inside the sentences.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

I see. None of the names you listed have appeared in any of my Italian sentences, so I guess they are language-dependent. But still, none of them have triggered any recognition on my part. I think you are simply meant to study Japanese!

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Equilibrist's avatar

I am totally fed up with my Duolingo. I have a 1500-day-plus streak in Italian, but the only sentences it ever gives me are ones like these, and I quote: “I want to buy that bird in another store.” “This doll is clean.” “What’s this person’s nose like?” “He is looking for an apartment with a ghost.” “Your hamster is also dirty.” “Your friend’s hamster is very dangerous.” It seems obsessed with small animals, and there was also a period a couple of years ago where all of the sentences were about death.

I swear, it’s dumbing down the teaching. The lessons I got at the beginning were miles ahead of these. Luckily my subscription expires in a week or so. I’ll be moving on to Plimsleur.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

I understand what you mean. The Italian exercises feel mostly off-target and uninteresting, and at the same time not even entertaining. I believe they should go one way or the other: either make them very useful or make them so much fun as to be motivating. This mashup is me trying to perform a kind of alchemy.

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Claire Polders's avatar

The nonsensical and nonpractical aspects bug me too. But the app people are proud that it works on 99% AI.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

What does that mean, Claire, that it works on 99% AI? I'm pretty sure the exercises were designed by teams of humans. Is that no longer the case?

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Claire Polders's avatar

This is not what I originally read but it's about the same thing: https://www.inc.com/robin-landa/duolingo-made-a-huge-announcement-what-happened-next-was-anything-but-expected/91193614

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Claire Polders's avatar

I believe that’s no longer the case. But I have trouble retracing where I read this. Some humans must still be involved, but from the often nonsensical sentences I get to translate, I believe a lot is written by AI.

“Is that doctor three years old?” is one of my prime examples.

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Karen Gordon's avatar

you're right, claire. duolingo is the number one company the AI folks are talking about as having replaced most of their human employees with AI. i bet that's why the quality has downgraded.

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

So sad! They're probably not even using a real green owl anymore!

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Karen Gordon's avatar

lol

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jabster's avatar

Reminds me of the Monty Python phrasebook sketch.

Maledicta, the magazine readers swear by, did something similar with an old-school traveler's dictionary.

I'm doing Duolingo Spanish and have yet to encounter sentences like this. Need to watch out for them.

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

I have some real doozies from DuoLingo. To date, the only Dutch person who has asked me if I am a duck did so after being prompted. 😂

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Claire Polders's avatar

Wat was je antwoord?

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Gillian Fletcher's avatar

Natuurlijk, nee! Ik ben geen eend, ik ben een neushoorn!

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